Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Red Means Stop (Being Nice)

And I'm better now. Talon. While Clark and Lex are planning their monogrammed towels together, the other potential couple is comparing notes. Chloe comes up to Lana -- who is arranging biscottis or some damn thing -- and asks about Lana's "big date." Lana says it's not a date when your guy leaves with someone else. Chloe says Lana just went from the gossip column to Page One. Of what publication, exactly? Lana doesn't respond, and Chloe apologizes for when her "Glib-o-Meter goes into overdrive." Lana says she was thrown for a loop by New Clark. It's fine. Soon, New Clark will be declared a mistake and they'll go back to the old formula, and we'll be stuck with Clark Kent Classic. Chloe says, "Welcome to the conundrum that is Clark Kent [Classic]." Try saying that five times fast. Someone calls out for coffee from the customer tables. Lana finishes arranging her pastries.

Old Heavy is at a table punching some numbers into his flip phone. Lana pours some coffee for him. Into the phone, he asks for some information based on a license plate he asked someone to run. Yaaaaaawn. "Thanks, you're an angel," he says. Frank back at the office blushes.

Pete is pacing at the lower floor of the Fortress of Barnitude. He asks if this is the right thing to do. Bo places a heavy hand on Pete's shoulder and says they don't have much choice. Pete says there's only one way to stop the unstoppable. Immovable object? Lex shows up in the barn doorway. He's set against some very nice pastoral colors. He asks for Bo. Bo pats Pete on the stomach, and then tells Lex this isn't a good time. Lex says he's heard about the problems with Clark. Bo says he doesn't want to be rude, but that Lex should stay out of the family's problems. Lex says that Clark is his friend and that he doesn't want Clark's relationship with Bo fall apart. How sweet, the lover. Bo says he and Clark can work it out. "Then why is Clark hiding out at the mansion?" Lex asks. Scandal! Bo does a stunned head cock.

Lex Manor. Clark found the pool table and is about to break. In walks Papa Luthor, also dressed all in black. He asks for Lex. Clark breaks and goes over to Papa. He shimmies over and takes off Papa's sunglasses. Papa Luthor says, "Hey!" and starts swinging his cane around. Clark dodges playfully. Clark puts the sunglasses on and tells Lionel to go back to his room: "Better yet, get the hell out." Yeah, go to bed, old man! Clark tells him that nobody in Smallville wants him there. Papa asks his name. Clark tells him. Papa Luthor makes the connection that he's Bo and MamaKent's son, and says he can't believe such salt-of-the-Earth people have raised such a "blatantly aggressive offspring." Clark says that if Papa Luthor likes them so much, they have some free space now they might be willing to rent out. Papa says that Clark has a lot to learn about tact, but adds that Clark speaks his mind and that'll take him far. "Oh, I'm going to the top," Clark says. Yeah, with the red kryptonite, he'll no longer exclusively be a bottom.

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