Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Red Means Stop (Being Nice)

The Barnness of Harleytude. Bo Duke is polishing down his motorcycle, introduced for the sole purpose of allowing Clark to ride off with it later, all cool-style. Bo takes obvious pride in this chopper. Motorcycles, tractors -- Bo just likes having a motor between his legs. MamaKent says that as soon as the bike's polished, she gets the first ride. It's so sad that she has to compete against those lusty cows. Bo says yep and that all the others will have to take a number. Too late. They're already branded. Bo asks about Clark. He's late getting home, even with the superspeed. Oh, and there's that superspeed now! Clark bursts in, wearing blue, saying, "Looking for me?" He's not very far from becoming The Great Gazoo. Bo is mad that Clark wasn't there earlier, helping Bo with the garage door. Clark's not Sears, dude. Clark says it'll only take, like, two seconds. Clark flashes his ring around and Bo gets mad because he thought they agreed he wasn't going to buy it. Clark says he thought it was his own decision. Bo says that's because he assumed Clark would make the right decision. What an assy thing to do. Give your son decision-making power only on the condition he does what you want. Bo is like the anti-Dr. Spock. Bo says that the ring cost a lot of money. Clark spins around and whines that he's tired of worrying about every nickel and dime around the farm. MamaKent suggests that she go wash up for dinner. "I'm not hungry," says Clark, the nine-year-old superbeing. Clark says he has chores to do anyway. He superzips out of there. Bo and MamaKent are perplexed. MamaKent suggests that Clark might be going through some teenage rebellion. If he starts listening to The Cure, they're doomed. Bo says he liked dealing with heat-vision better than this. Well, yeah, because heat-vision was all sexual and you got to kiss a hot lady. MamaKent chuckles softly at her man's little joke. Bo says that Clark made a bad decision. MamaKent reminds him that he once spent $500 on a motorcycle against his dad's wishes. "Challenging him is only going to make it worse," she says wisely. Bo is struck dumb. He's been out-platituded.

The Lair o' Lex. Wearing a light blue pullover, Lex walks into what is usually his swank office, only to find a bunch of people moving stuff around and attending to the needs of a blind but magnificent bastard sitting at Lex's desk. Lex says that when he got up that morning (alone?), he was sure that was his office. Papa Luthor -- holding a cane and wearing his dark glasses -- says he's making some changes, and is sure Lex won't mind. He turns to an assistant-looking woman standing next to him and chats again with her. Lex says that what he minds is not being consulted. With the help of his cane and the desk, Papa gets up. He says he didn't think he needed his son's permission to make his situation more bearable. Oh poor you. It's not like you don't have enough money to have ten seeing-eye people at your disposal. He leaves the room moaning about his eyesight and dignity. Lex finally says, "Give him whatever he wants." The assistant prepares to go take off her clothes and get the sponge-bath equipment ready.

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