Red Ferrari speeding down the road is shown. That's it. It might have even been a commercial for all I know.
Loud, crowded bar. Cowboy hats. Lots of denim. People are the bar drinking shots. Lana and Clark walk in. Clark may out-homo the last scene here with his little black sleeveless shirt. It's like part of the uniform for gay clubbin'. Two guys stop what they're doing at the bar to check out Clark and Lana. It's supposed to be that they're checking her out and Clark gets mad, but the way it's cut, it looks like they're scoping Clark. I kid you not. It's two older, chunky guys -- one bald, the other with close-cropped blonde hair and an orange goatee. They are so looking at Clark's ass. "What are you looking at?" Clark asks. "Clark, I'm fine! I'm fine!" Lana says, busting in. Except this really had nothing to do with her. All they wanted to do was meet in the bathroom later. "Want a beer?" Clark asks. "What?!" Lana exclaims. Oh, right. Beer at a bar. How strange and unwarranted. She asks Clark when he started drinking. He says that if she doesn't want to drink, they should dance. "Clark, this place isn't us," Lana says. Why, because it's fun? Lana wants to go somewhere and talk. Fascinating. "I'll take that dance, Clark," someone says. It's Raccoongirl! We look at her from the feet up. She's wearing fishnets and a red dress. "Whoa," Clark says. Raccoongirl tells Lana she checked out the Talon. "Yeah...that's why I decided to come here," she says. Ooh, burn. Clark even laughs at that. Lana says, "Let's go." Clark, grinning, is pulled at each hand by a different girl. Al Gough wasn't kidding when he said there'd be new dating opportunities this season. "Lana, I'll be right back," Clark says. He goes off to dance with Raccoongirl. Lana breathes out for about twenty seconds.
Sexy music is playing. As Clark and Raccoongirl dance close, the bartender pulls out the photo, which he just happens to have in his shirt pocket. He grabs the phone and calls Animal Control. Raccoongirl asks Clark if he likes Smallville. He says it's the only place he's ever lived. Except, you know, space. She says there's a "big bad world" out there, and somebody ought to show it to him. Lex? Lana stews. Clark and Raccoongirl are about to kiss when Lana comes up and announces that she's leaving. Clark says they just got there. He pulls out some cash and tells Lana to go get them some drinks. Ha! "You're unbelievable!" Lana says. No, he's super. "What happened to telling the truth?" she asks. Wuh? "What happened to 'you can spend time with whoever you want'?" Clark counters. Lana asks if that's the way he wants it. "Sure. There's enough of me to go around," Clark says. Hoo boy. Lana starts to leave. Clark grabs her arm. The two gayboys from before come up and ask if there's a problem. "Not anymore," Lana says, and exits. Clark grabs the two bathroom buddies and tosses them halfway across the dance floor by their shirts. The bartender comes at Clark with a wood bat. Clark uses his heat-vision to set it on fire. Nobody seems to notice his eye goop streams. Bartender comes at Clark with a fist. Clark grabs it, then chokes the guy. Somebody hits Clark from behind with a stool. Clark throws that guy. Did I just change the channel and catch Road House? "Anybody else?" Clark roars with a mad gleam in his eye. I could get used to this Clark. People back away. Raccoongirl says she can't be there when the cops arrive. Clark says they should pack their bags and see that big, bad world. He pulls on her like they're in the middle of a musical for their big exit.