Office. Asskick has one of those doors with the vertical-striped private detective glass that makes people walking past look like criminals. Clark says he's never been in a principal's office before. Asskick gets right down to business: "I think you're a slacker." Ha! This is the best. He points out that Clark has quit the football team, registered chronic tardiness, has no extracurriculars...Clark says he gets good grades and writes for The Torch on occasion. "Retyping the cafeteria menu isn't exactly writing," Asskick says. I'm loving this asskicking. Asskick says he sees a lot of untapped potential in Clark. Clark whines that he's being judged too quickly. Asskick asks about Lex Luthor. Clark says that Lex is a friend. I'm giggling here. Asskick says that Lex doesn't have friends; as far as Lex is concerned, people are a means to an end. Clark knows all about being Lex's end. Clark sticks up for Lex. Asskick asks Clark about his goals. "I'd like to help people," Clark tells him. Asskick says that's noble, but vague. He asks Clark what he wants to do in five years. Clark doesn't know. Asskick offers to help: he wants Clark to write an essay on the subject. Clark whines again. Asskick says, "This isn't punishment, Mr. Kent. Consider it a challenge." Asskick does the thing where you stand and open the door when you want someone to leave. Clark does. I want them to make big banners for Principal Asskick. Oh, and Clark? ASSKICKED!