Bo Duke is out fixing a tractor. He says he doesn't care if MamaKent talks to her dad, but that he doesn't want to take the guy's money. MamaKent asks whether she was supposed to wait till the bank forecloses on the farm. The cows perk up. Bo says he wished he'd heard about it first. Clark butts in, but Bo tells him he doesn't have to get in the middle of it. Clark calls Bo on his Salt of the Earth card, asking why they can't just get along. Clark asks whether what happened that was so bad. "It can't be any worse than what's in the storm cellar," he says. Dead silence. "Or can it?" Bo says that when he wanted to ask MamaKent to get married, he went to Gramps's office to ask for her hand. He was going to marry her one body part at a time. The response? "I will not let my daughter throw her life away by marrying some hick farmer that couldn't possibly support her." Ha! Even the cows are giggling. Clark says that's harsh. MamaKent explains that that's how corporate lawyers deal with people. That's why they get killed in pitchfork melees so often. Bo says Gramps tried to shove Bo out of his office. "I hit him," Bo says. Bo says he's not proud and tried to apologize. Remember, it was a different time. This was back when Boss Hogg ruled the political scene. Bo says they haven't said a word to each other since. Clark tries reasoning. Bo says Gramps isn't there to make peace; he's there to gloat. Bo tosses a roll of black tape to Clark for no good reason. MamaKent is sad again.
The Talon. "Go Crows!" on the marquee. "You Ugly" is playing as the Smallville High cheerleaders do their routine on the Talon theater stage. Their routine includes a big stand-on-the-shoulder tableau. Some dork hops on stage just as they're finishing. You're no Cliff and this still isn't Bring it On. Lana turns from this monstrosity and sees Lex walking down the aisle toward her, who says he got a message that she wanted to see him. Lana asks a favor: she wants Lex to find out who's in the picture with her mom. Lex says it may be harder to come to terms with whatever he finds out. He proceeds to tell the whole story of Pandora's Box, which Lana, in her lack of schooling, has never heard of. Lex is insinuating that once Lana knows the stuff about her mom, it'll be gloom, doom, and therapy. Lana ignores the warning and asks for any information Lex can get. Stupid Lana.
The Torch. Clark and Chloe greet each other; she warns him that Principal Asskick is coming by for an interview, so Clark might want to make himself scarce for an hour. Clark asks what Chloe's looking at. She brings up her friend "Chad" at the Medical Examiner's office. "The guy with the black fingernail polish and lipstick," Clark says. He would notice. Chloe says it's hard being Smallville's only goth. I really, really, REALLY hope we meet that guy this season. Chloe says she got the coroner's report for the aged jock by lending the guy her eyeliner. ["That's so unhygienic, dude." -- Wing Chun] Clark looks at the report, which says the kid didn't die of Progeria. Chloe says the dead guy's pituitary gland -- which controls the aging process -- was drained, like somebody sucked the youth right out of him. That used to happen to me in Trigonometry class. "Well, that's quite an assumption, Miss Sullivan," says Principal Asskick, who enters the room just then. Chloe stammers that she was just running some scenarios. Asskick says that Chloe should continue, because he likes students who think outside of the box. In fact, he's got a strict no-homeless-students policy. Asskick says he's seen a lot of creativity and insight in The Torch. But, as he walks to the Wall of Weird, he says that many a Pulitzer has sprung from wild theories. "Just make sure you can back them up," he says. Chloe is in love. "Wow," she says. Chloe asks about their interview. Asskick asks for a half-hour. Clark makes to leave and Asskick calls him back. Clark has a little hair-tail. Asskick wants to see Clark in his office.