White flash. I wish they would blank my memory like the flashes on Men In Black. The hand on the shoulder is now the Sheriff's hand on Joe's back as Joe kissed Louise in the car. "Hey, you two lovebirds," the Sheriff says, until he sees who's kissing Louise. Louise says it's not what it looks like. They were actually all the way to third base. The sheriff tells Joe, tough guy, to get out of the car. Joe does. Joe starts to say it's none of the sheriff's business, but the sheriff starts to try to rough Joe up for causing trouble. Louise gets between them. She says that Joe was just taking her home. Like the song, "Take Me Home Tonight"? Yeah, I know what home base looks like. The sheriff, hurt, says that Louise had better make sure this is what she wants. He says she's making a huge mistake.

The sheriff drives off, leaving Joe and Louise to have lots of sex now. Louise tells Joe Tribbiani that she never wanted to marry her husband. It just kind of happened. She woke up and there she was, in a wedding dress, saying "Till death do us part, or until some hunky guy with sideburns does me in the barn." Louise damns her husband with faint praise. She blames her dad for putting her together with her husband, Dex. (My favorite name of all time: Dex Dexter from Dynasty.) Lame, lame, lame. Louise wants to go to Hollywood. Why not go to Vancouver? I'll bet you have a better chance of getting discovered there. Louise admits that she wussed out on the Hollywood dream. Joe is sympathetic instead of being disgusted. He says that their fathers would probably get along. In hell! Joe says that his father sent him to Smallville as sort of a lesson. A very rustic lesson. He says he didn't want to come, but now he'd give anything to stay. Yes. A conundrum. How quaint. Louise asks Joe again to take her with him. She pulls Joe into the beams of the car's headlights. She says they'll be like James Dean and Natalie Wood, only sapped of talent and appallingly made-up. Hey, if this is all the sheriff's flashback and he's gone, why is Clark still seeing all this? I guess it's technically Joe's flashback. Fine, send me five hundred emails explaining how I'm a dumb-ass. Go ahead. I'm ready for it this week. Louise gushes that Joe's taking her with him will be romantic. Joe says that when he said he wasn't from here, he wasn't talking about the town. I have to do this verbatim because it's unintentionally hilarious: Joe says that where he's from, there's colors Louise has never seen. The moons are so close they fill up half the sky. They have sunsets that last for hours. So Joe is from an interstellar Carnival Cruise destination. Louise believes him for a second, and then smiles and thinks Joe is putting her on. "You almost had me there," she says. No, he almost had you in the car. Joe picks Louise up. Then they both start to float up off the ground, bathed in blue light. Louise looks down. They're flying! "Oh my God!" Louise says. Gushy orchestral music plays. We cut to a wide shot to show the couple about twenty feet up from where the car sits. Cue the commercials.