Prison! Where old people go to have their crimes solved. Lana and a worker are helping old Uncle Cuckold into a wheelchair. He's thrilled to be getting out. Innocence has cleaned up his health. He can't believe his friend was responsible for the murder. Mayor Tate even visited him every Sunday for two years. Lana's like, "Sucks to be you." Lana's uncle doesn't know why somebody would confess after all those years. It doesn't make sense. Welcome to the show, old-timer. You're going to be very confused and frustrated here. Uncle Cuckold says it's a terrible thing when love consumes you and takes over. He says he was so in love with his wife that he couldn't see she didn't feel the same way. He wishes he'd known when to let go. She married you, dude. The way I see it, your only mistake was marrying a slut. Lana watches her uncle get wheeled away. She's in a pink workout ensemble, surprise surprise.
Lair of Lex. Lex is telling his dad about the explosion that caused his parents' deaths. Lex says that there were traces of ammonium nitrate. It was no accident. Papa Luthor says he's always suspected this. He seems to get emotional, and sits down. He says his dad had enemies. Lex says that's not what Papa Luthor told the police. Papa Luthor says that he was young, but not naïve. He knew that whoever did it would be watching him. Lex gives that some thought and gets up. "So you knew they were murdered," Lex says. Lex says it's not like Papa Luthor to pass up revenge. Lex asks why, in the last thirty years, Papa Luthor didn't pursue that. Papa Luthor says he couldn't bring them back. There was nothing he could do, so he chose to forget about it. That's such a lie. "But you can't, can you?" Lex asks. "No," Papa Luthor says sadly. Papa Luthor thanks Lex. He says his parents deserve justice. Papa Luthor says he always through the murders could stay buried in the past. Lex takes his dad by the shoulders: "We both know that's not going to happen until we find out who did this." On a purely acting level, and for lack of a better candidate, it's the Gayest Look of the Episode. I know, I'm disappointed, too.
The Barnness of Epilogueitude. Lana goes up the loft to find Clark. Clark hurriedly puts his new necklace away. Why? Why must every episode end like this? I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. Clark asks how her uncle's doing. He's happy to be free. Yay Uncle Cuckold. Lana thinks her uncle has Clark to thank for his freedom. But Lana doesn't know why. She's dumb like that. Clark blames her for believing in her uncle. Lana says the uncle was wrong about the drifter. Clark's not so sure. He says that Louise wouldn't have died if she hadn't met Joe. Lana says she knows Louise was wrong for what she did, but in a way she was lucky. Yeah, luck in the shape of a bullet in the shoulder. Lana says that at least Louise got to be in love for a few days. With an alien. Clark says it's too bad it didn't last. "That's not the point," Lana says. Lana says you have to be grateful for the time you have, and stop holding on to what could have been. Lana is boldly carrying the platitude torch that was, until recently, held aloft by Bo Duke. And she's wearing about a pound of eyeshadow. Clark and Lana exchange meaningful looks. I look for a dry cleaning bag with which to asphyxiate myself.