...flash. Back to Clark. He's still dorky. Bo gets skeptical again, but Clark shuts Bo up by telling him that his name was almost Gene. MamaKent moves her eyebrows. "After Gene Autry," Bo says. Gene Gene the Milking Machine. Bo says they had all of Gene's old records, but that his mom finally won out. Thus: Bo Duke. MamaKent says that Hiram was a good judge of character, and wouldn't have helped a guilty man. How about an alien? Bo says that an old bomber jacket isn't going to prove anything. Don't be so sure of that old man, Clark says. Oh, what fiendish, clever thing do you have planned, cute gay alien from Krypton?
Cigarette Smoking Mayor isn't smoking, but he's got a nice cognac going as he sits in his favorite chair, reading a book. Something flashes into the room and starts a blaze in the fireplace. The Mayor gets up. He's wearing suspenders, the better to hold up expectations for his character from fans of his last show. Papers on his desk wave around. He pushes a button near a doorway. He goes to investigate, but is startled when someone behind him says, "Sheriff Tate." It's Clark, who combed his hair to look like Joe and is wearing that leather jacket. Oh, the old Scooby-Doo trick! The Mayor sees right through it. He tells "Mr. Kent" that he doesn't find this amusing. Clark says he must have him confused with someone else. The Mayor says that the police are on their way. How did he know to sound the alarm before he knew it was anything more than papers flying and the fireplace starting by itself? Did he ring Ghostbusters? Clark superspeeds around as The Mayor turns. The Mayor is shocked. He notices Clark's medallion. "Where did you get that?" he asks. Oh, you know, eBay. Clark-as-Joe says he knew The Mayor would remember him. "This can't be real," The Mayor says. Oh, but it is. It's the Ghost of Gay Present! Clark says that Cigarette Smoking Mayor has done a good job hiding the truth. He says he knows about the deal The Mayor made to have him killed. He asks how it felt to know that Louise got the bullet instead. "It was supposed to be you!" The Mayor screams. He runs around his desk and pulls out a pistol. He aims it at Clark and fires. Clark does some fancy bullet-dodging. He's no Neo. But then, Neo's no Neo these days, is he? "You can't kill me," Clark says, smiling. "I'm already dead." Spoooooooky! Or not. "Mother of God!" The Mayor says. No, son of Jor-El. Clark says that if The Mayor ever wants another day of peace, he'll confess to the (current) sheriff. "No! I'm not going to jail!" The Mayor yells. He points the gun at himself. Clark superspeeds to him and takes the gun out of his hand. "You're not taking the easy way out," Clark says. Clark bursts out of the room, just as Sheriff Cheshire and one of her men come in, guns drawn. They ask if The Mayor is all right. "He's trying to kill me!" The Mayor yells. Who? He totally confesses, saying that the drifter was supposed to die, not Louise. "I loved her," he says. Aw, poor Cigarette Smoking Mayor. I shall miss him. And curse the show for giving him such little time to do evil things on the show. We go to commercials as I say goodbye to what might have been a cool character over the long run. Fucking Smallville.