Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: F | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Love Is A Many Squandered Thing

The Toymaker's lair. If he was here, it would be a Schott in the dark. Dolls, models, action figures and carnival posters line the shelves and walls as Clark and Lana enter. It's crowded, but not completely disorganized. Clark says it was the last address the patent office had listed for their suspect. Clark, surrounded by toys, says he heard this guy had a thing for toys. Ya think? Lana guesses he still lives there. There's a light on. Lana is just that intuitive. Lana notices the ventriloquist's dummy nearby as it swings its head. She picks it up. She tells Clark that there's a wireless camera inside the doll. "Someone's watching us," Clark says. You're just full of the obvious today, aren't you? I bet if you took a dump, all that would plop out would be facts about the room around you. Lana thinks it's Lex; she says he likes to keep an eye on people working for him. She dumps the dummy face-down into a nearby trashcan. Clark pulls a sheet laid over a table and finds a miniature city of Metropolis. Clark shows it to Lana. "It's Metropolis," he says. Damn it, Clark! Stop stating the obvious! You don't hear me saying "Clark, the big, dumb alien," at every attribution, do you? No. Because it's already obvious. Clark notices a melted building where The Planet should be. Clark thinks that must be the next target. Lana and Clark takes turns gulping instead of superspeeding out of there to save the building.

Hospital. Cute Nurse enters Ollie's room with a knock. She says, in a chirpy voice, "Excuse me, Mr. Queen, it's time for your medicine." There's something moving under the bed sheet. She pulls it back and finds Toymaker there. His mouth is covered with clear tape. It doesn't look very strong. She pulls it off. She asks where Oliver went. She was about to step up the flirting to Level 2. Toymaker says he came to deliver a Balloon-O-Gram and Oliver attacked him. The nurse totally buys it and tries to help him. Chloe walks in just as the nurse is trying to free him. "You!" Chloe says, "you're Winslow Schott!" She tells the nurse not to untie him. Too late. He uses his free hand to activate a remote. It pops the balloons, filling the room with dangerous gas. Toymaker sticks a metal tube into his mouth, one that has a sticker of a happy mouth on it. He breathes through it as the nurse collapses. Chloe falls, too. He walks right out, sucking on the tube. He pauses at the door to smile and say, "I win." No, Winslow, I think we all lose. This is a no-win game right here. He leaves on that cheesy line and we get to have a commercial so we can collect our thoughts and have a good cry.

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Smallville

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Now that Charlie Hunnam has dropped out of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, who should be cast as Christian Grey?

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