Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | 1 USERS: A+
Supermen: Two for the Price Of One

Professor Snideface walks into Lex's woodsy office. Ooh, he's just so snide! Look at his face! SNIDE! Lex has called Snideface in to have a Come to Lexus talk. He says he heard a rumor from the preservation society that Snideface was planning on removing a section of wall from the cave. Lex says he knows Snideface wouldn't do such a radical move without consulting him. Snideface is no Tony Hawk. Snideface says it's a common archaeological practice. Lex says maybe it is, among nineteenth-century imperialists. Ooh, the song "China Girl" just popped into my head. Snideface says that Lex is paranoid. Lex gets up and confronts the snide right in the face. He asks for one good reason why he shouldn't fire the professor. Snideface lies that he's on the verge of a breakthrough. Lex asks if that means those symbols will be translated. Snideface says that's hard to say, since he won't be able to get a sample back to his lab. He needs a sample of a symbol? How about a Polaroid? Lex says he may lose custodianship of the caves. Another foundation wants to take over. "If my instincts are correct, I believe my father is behind it," Lex says. When is his father not responsible for Lex's troubles? Lex wants answers. Snideface has three days.

Smallville High hallway. The usual gang (Clark, Chloe, Pete, and Lana) have just gotten out of class; Chloe is complaining about a family tree assignment. She says that family trees are "so twentieth-century." She's wearing scary tights that make her look a bit clownish. Pete's excited. He sees it as a mystery where you never know what you'll uncover. A criminal uncle! A former U.S. president! Carrot Top! Pete seems to think this assignment will be easy. Chloe says it's easy for Pete because his family has been in Smallville since the Jurassic Era. Er, see... Um... How to say this delicately...? Chloe needs to take a fucking world history class because that remark was just ig'nant. As they walk into the Torch office, Pete asks what Chloe's so worked up about. She says there are lots of variables, like what if your mom abandoned you? I think that still sits her in the tree. Chloe asks if you cut her off from your tree. Lana asks what if your biological father comes back into your life; which side do you claim? They act like nobody's ever considered step-parents and adoptions and biological parents when building family trees. Go online, beeyatches! Holding a red binder, Pete says he gets the point, but asks if it's his fault that he's part of a nuclear family. "Nuclear" is a good word to describe someone in this town. Chloe says her nuclear family was nuked years ago. Lana suggests that they go to The Talon to get a gameplan for their project. Clark hates that idea because he suddenly develops a piercing headache, complete with high-pitched noise. He touches his temples and bends over. Chloe agrees that Clark don't like The Talon. The piercing suddenly stops. "Did you guys hear that?" Clark asks. They didn't hear it. It happens again and Clark buckles. Clark is in some serious pain. He's got a headache THIS big. And he hasn't got time for the pain. Chloe says Clark must be part canine, since they don't hear it. It's not the first time Clark's been called a dog on this show. And again! Excedrin, Clark! Seriously! Clark excuses himself as what sound like higher-pitched bees than the ones from "Drone" continue to attack his brain. Chloe and Lana give the door a weirdo stare when he's gone.

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