Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: D+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Rube Goldberg's Deus Ex Machina

Previously on Smallville: Oliver killed Lex and framed the Toyman for it. Chloe and Clark were kind of ticked off about it for a while, but tried to give him pep talks anyway. Lois and Oliver had a little somethin' goin' on, but she decided she couldn't share him with the rest of the world. The Toyman tried to get Oliver to confess to the murder at a fancy party, but Oliver decided to just commit suicide instead; he didn't succeed. Oliver said goodbye to heroics by burning his Green Arrow outfit and looked very pretty by the glow of the fire.

A roulette wheel spins in slow motion to the strains of a song that makes me roll my eyes harder than the little ball that's going around in the wheel. A guy with a soft, emotional voice sings about how he's not just a mountain that's been moved and a river that has been all dried up, but is also a sky that nothing wants to fly in and a sun that doesn't burn hot. It's making me picture a fifteen-year-old boy sitting in his bedroom window, his long bangs artfully obscuring one teary eye, as he writes in his black leather journal about how no one understands his LONELINESS and SUFFERING. Instead of a moping teen, though, we find Oliver Queen at the roulette table, lost in his pain as the crowd around him laughs and parties in their fancy attire, oblivious to the waves of LONELINESS and SUFFERING that are emanating from him. He keeps betting and losing, to the point that even the dealer looks sorry. Oliver, all out of chips despite being a multibillionaire, throws his car keys on the table for one last bet. He loses again and drinks from a whiskey glass. A woman in a red satin dress starts walking toward him. She has a dragon tattoo on her left shoulder. Oliver heads for the bar and gets another drink. He drops his cocktail napkin and crouches down to pick it up real slow so that we can see the word "Roulette" on it. By the time he stands up again, the woman in red has reached him. She's Asian and wearing enough black eye shadow to make her look like a goth raccoon. "Now that looks like the face of a guy who's down on his luck," she says. Oliver, giving her a flirty look, says his luck is about to turn around. She says she's seen his type before: "The kind of player who can't find a game to satisfy him." Oliver admits to losing his lust for life, but not for "other things." She invites him to play a game with her. Oliver's interest and other parts are piqued. The woman takes three metal cups from the bar, upends them and instructs Oliver to pick one as she shuffles them. Oliver is disappointed in the lack of sexing in the game, but picks the middle cup. The cup is lifted, revealing a big, red, vitamin-looking pill. Oliver, seeing only the one pill, wonders if his new lady friend isn't joining him on the "trip." She says it's only for him, and promises it will be worth it. "Of course, you do have a choice," she says. "But what do you have to lose?" Oliver, who failed the D.A.R.E. program at school, whispers back, "Absolutely nothing." Oh, boohoo. Then turn yourself in to the cops, why don't you? Big moping whiner baby. He takes the mystery Geritol pill with a swig of whiskey.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP