Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Rube Goldberg's Deus Ex Machina

High atop a building overlooking the nighttime Metropolis skyline, Oliver poses in his Green Arrow outfit, one foot braced against the head of a stone gargoyle. Clark appears behind him. "I heard you were back," he says. Oliver turns around and doffs his hood and sunglasses. He gives Clark's Emo Blur outfit a once-over and snarks, "You do know you look absolutely ridiculous in that, right? I have this great tailor. He can hook you up with a little color." Clark smiles at him. "Nice to see you found something worth living for," he says. Superhero costume design? Oliver smiles back and says it's more like a rediscovery. He says he's here to help Clark save the world now. "Something tells me soon the world's going to need all the help it can get," Clark says. They stand side by side, looking down at the city below as a swell of heroic music takes us to the end credits.

So! What are the lessons we can take from all this? That it's not exactly OK to murder people, but if you're going to do it, at least frame a criminal for the act? If you're a villain, the hero will save you as long as you're a hot babe and not a bald guy with half his skin melted off? Guilt can be absolved by a crazy, complex plan that even Rube Goldberg would find over-the-top, because it makes you feel better about yourself even though it has absolutely nothing to do with the root of your guilt? Posing dramatically on rooftops makes you a hero? Black eye shadow should only be applied sparingly except on Halloween? What the hell, I'm going with that last one. Keep the makeup classy, everyone.

Tippi Blevins does not pose on rooftops, dramatically or otherwise. You can send her comments and tasteful amounts of cosmetics at b_tippi@yahoo.com.

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Smallville

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