Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Rube Goldberg's Deus Ex Machina

Mystery interrogation room. Oliver is cuffed to a chair as a uniformed cop badgers him for having no I.D., no witnesses, and no alibi. You forgot he also has no shoes. Just tryin' to help. Cop: "Why should I let a murderer walk free?" Oliver insists that the people Victoria works for are the ones who shot her. Before the cop can say anything to that, a man in a suit walks into the room and informs them the case is under FBI jurisdiction now. The cop is grumpy, but leaves. FBI Guy puts a laptop computer and a pair of shoes on the table in front of Oliver. "Thought you could use those," he says, and unlocks Oliver, calling him by name. Oliver seems stunned that the guy knows him. "We also know about the game," FBI guy says. He explains that they've been tracking this group, whose M.O. is to target wealthy people and hack their bank accounts. Oliver, wide-eyed, takes this all in. FBI Guy suggests that Oliver check his bank account and slides the laptop over to him. Oliver immediately logs in with his username and password. Did anyone in the audience at this point not yell at him for being an idiot? The screen shows a balance of over three billion dollars, much to Oliver's relief. FBI Guy calls him "lucky" and all Oliver has to do now is fill out some paperwork. Of course, the instant the guy is out of the room, Oliver notices that his billions of dollars are dwindling away to nothing. He taps at the keyboard, but everything's gone. He shouts out, "They're taking everything!" No one answers. Oliver runs to the door, but it's locked. He pounds on it, shouting for help, but behind him some nozzle thingies descend from the ceiling and start filling the room with smoke. Oliver crumples to his knees, coughing. Suddenly, the door and entire wall are yanked backwards and Oliver falls onto his hands. As he clambers to his feet, someone grabs him by the shoulders. Oliver looks panicked until he realizes it's just Super Doofus. Clark says he found the Roulette invitation. "It's only a few blocks away -- I could hear you yelling," he explains. "What is all this?" Clark asks. Oliver looks around at the obviously fake interrogation room. "It's game over," Oliver says, "and I just got taken."

Watchtower. Chloe is tapping away at one of her many computers and Clark and a bloodstained Oliver walk in. "Oh my God, are you OK?" she asks. Oliver replies that he's "south of there by a few horror movies." Clark tells Chloe about the game, the club, and the woman named Victoria. She turns back to her computer and gets to work. She wonders what kind of game this is. Oliver: "The kind that starts with burial and ends with bankruptcy." Chloe frowns. Her computer beeps as an FBI file on Victoria Sinclair comes up on screen. Her alias, Chloe reads, is Roulette. (I think the comics version of Roulette would have been a better fit for the show, what with Oliver's already-established proclivity for fight clubs. Or maybe I'm just sad for all the lost potential for partial male nudity.) Roulette is a career criminal, Chloe says. Oliver tells Chloe to get his gear. She tells him to get his own damn gear because she's not his servant. Actually, she tells him that she locked up his arsenal in the hopes that he might want it again someday. "But not like this," she says. He says he'll fight this how he sees fit. Clark tries to stop him, too: "Where'd that line lead you last time?" Oliver promises he's going to use his lawyers to get out of his mess, and tacks on an, "OK, Scout?" for good measure. He brushes past Clark. Clark starts to go after him, but Chloe stops him: "Right now, you've got bigger problems. Trust me." He stares after Oliver for a while as Chloe pulls up the security footage from the Ace of Clubs shindig. Clark tells Chloe about Lois seeing the video of not just Oliver, but of Clark, too. Chloe asks, "So on a scale of one to Chernobyl, how big was the fallout?" Clark: "Let's just say if there was an anti-life equation, I think I've found it." Ooh, a Darkseid reference. Meaningful foreshadowing, or geeky namedropping? Chloe zooms in on a frame of the security footage that shows a woman with a Kryptonian tattoo on her shoulder. Clark recognizes her as the assassin who attacked him and Lois. "I buried her before this footage was taken," he says. "How could she be on it?" Chloe's out of ideas, but Clark thinks maybe Jor-El won't be.

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Smallville

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