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A Flashy Guy

Previously on Smallville: Oh yeah, they don't really do that around here much, do they?

Ooh, boppin' soundtrack, y'all. Do the kids still say "boppin'" these days? When I was young, we'd say, "Man, that outfit you got on is boppin', girl! Let's get to some boppin'!" No? Well, you kids don't know what you missed. I think this song is by The Roots. Right on, Smallville. Right on. We know we're in Metropolis because everything is blue and gray instead of orange and yellow. The camera pans into an uninviting-looking car wash/hoodlum hide-out. Or at least I thought it was a car wash. Maybe it's just an auto garage. A cat shrieks and runs by. A Mercedes-Benz is sitting in this industrial space, while two guys who look like stock criminals stand around. The one in the long coat with Richard Grieco's old stubble says, "I'm not waitin' around for some damn kid. He's late." We hear a whooshing sound. "Your watch is fast," a boy's voice says, suddenly appearing behind Criminal X. The kid cockily says that he's never late. If he says he's going to be there, he'll be there. Like a flash! Boppin'! ["I wish more young people (and old people, for that matter) were that conscientious about lateness." -- Wing Chun] Li'l Flash admires the expensive car and asks if that's real leather interior. "I got places to be, Small Fry,"says Criminal X. He asks the kid to show him his wares. Li'l Flash says he's got some great stuff, real top-of-the-line. Do you watch QVC? Even better than that!

Li'l Flash goes to a very well-lit small table and tosses away the car rim that was sitting on it. Li'l Flash takes his backpack and dumps its contents onto the table. There's jewelry, watches, wallets that a gold tooth? Criminal X sighs that the kid's been busy. Li'l Flash says, a little too seriously, that they say things about idle hands and empty pockets. Is what they say dirty? Criminal X isn't too impressed. He offers the kid $200 for the lot. Li'l Flash says his stuff is worth ten times that. Criminal X says he doesn't handle this nickel-'n-dime crap anymore. Except today. Today is All Alms Day in the criminal world -- the day when grizzled old thugs help the next generation of scum become hoods. Criminal X tells the kid to call him when he makes a real score. Until then? He throws the $200 on the table. Dude, he didn't even put down two $100 bills. It's like $100 and five $20s. Insult! Li'l Flash picks up the bills and uses them to point to the goods: "Maybe, I should just take them all," he says. Criminal X looks to his henchman and asks if that's a threat. In the background, Criminal XY starts to take out his gun. We cut to a loud bang. The cat from earlier meows and runs off. Criminal XY is distracted, pointing his gun toward the sound. It was a car bumper falling over. We hear a familiar Whoosh! And when the criminals turn back around, Li'l Flash, the cash, and all the goods are gone. Ha! You guys got bopped.

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