Smallville
Run

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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A Flashy Guy

Metropolis. An outside urban sign reads, "Metropolis Day Clinic." The only two men walking around in plaid flannel shirts in the city come out of the building. It's Bo Duke and Clark Kent. Now I can understand why Bo's shirt is untucked -- they probably just diddled his bottom. But why's Clark looking like Slob in the City? People are walking past thinking, "It's time travelers...from 1990s Seattle!" Bo bellows that his doctor just gave him a new prescription -- they're red pills, which he says will go well with his green, pink, and blue ones. A skateboarder rides past the father and son. Bo doesn't yell at him or throw his pills or anything. Rebecca says, "He's been prescribed Skittles!" Clark says it's better to have more colors in the medicine cabinet than not have Bo around. Is it? Is it really, Clark? What would the Fab Five say? Bo says he doesn't want MamaKent to worry about him. Clark brings up what Jor-El did to Bo. Bo says he'd go through it again in a heartbeat (ooh, bad choice of words) if it meant keeping Clark safe. Bo pulls out some tickets from his pocket. "Don't you and I have a game to catch?" he asks. "Cowboys, Sharks, 50-yard line," Clark says, "Lex really came through this time." Through your hymen? Bo says he knows how much this friendship means to Clark. The groping, the sweating, the cows watching like it's a nasty Prince video. But he warns Clark to be careful: Lex investigated him, after all. Clark says he's not going into this with his eyes closed. That's what the red silk blindfold is for. Is it a coincidence that they're walking past a flower stand as they talk about Lex? Clark says that Lex wants another chance to prove his friendship. Bo starts to say something, but Clark interrupts and stands in front of him. Clark says it's senior year. For twenty-six-year-olds. Clark says he doesn't want to have to worry about Lex or Jor-El or "any of that." He just wants to be normal, hang out with his friends and play football. Play videogames, tip some cows, and masturbate a whole lot. Oh, and college applications, maybe? Scholarships? No? All right, just checking. Bo hands Clark some keys and tells him to go get the truck. Bo waits at the most pitifully-stocked newsstand in all of Metropolis to read a magazine.

We cut to a mean-looking truck with an intense front grill barreling down the street. The driver -- who's wearing the third flannel shirt in the city -- is falling asleep at the wheel. He suddenly jerks in the driver's seat and swerves. The truck careens toward the curb. Cut to someone in jeans and red-striped sneakers flashing into the scene. We see Li'l Flash in the driver's side-view mirror as a bunch of PVC pipes fall off the back of the truck's trailer. The camera does a quick zoom to Bo's face, then another quick zoom in the middle of the street to Li'l Flash, who's wearing a rakish smile. Then we go behind and over Li'l Flash's shoulder as everything goes slow-motion Bullet Time. The camera whips past the truck and toward the skateboarder, who's in the middle of performing a kick-flip. He's wearing a helmet, too. Wuss! As everything else seems still, we see Clark turn around. He gets in motion and runs toward Bo. Li'l Flash and Clark both run toward Bo, but Li'l Flash gets there first, pulling Bo away from the magazine stand and out of the way of the truck. The truck crashes into the stand as things return to normal speed. Clark comes over to help Bo up on the street. He asks if Bo is all right. Bo, breathing hard, looks around. He says that MamaKent would be visiting him in the hospital again if Clark hadn't pulled him out of the way. Li'l Flash is my savoir! Clark says intensely that it wasn't him who saved Bo. "I saw someone who can move like I can," Clark says. Charo? Clark says, "I couldn't believe it. He saved you." And, cue the opening credits. "Somebody saaaaaaved Bo! And it wasn't Clark!" Wait, too soon. Bo reaches to his ass and notices that his wallet is missing. The camera pulls back a bit. Now cue the music.

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Smallville

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