Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
A Flashy Guy

Cut to a field with a backdrop of Metropolis/Vancouver buildings. The blurs slow down enough for us to see Clark reach out and try to grab Li'l Flash. Flash leaps and lands on some water. Clark watches in horror as Li'l Flash runs across the surface of it. He disappears on the other side of the town lake. Clark doesn't follow.

Kent Farm. Clark zips to the kitchen. I gotta have my Corn Pops! Clark tells Bo, without looking around, that he lost the kid when he ran across the water near the docks. Bo looks over his shoulder. "Uh. Son," Bo says and motions to the kitchen. Li'l Flash is sitting there drinking Clark's fucking orange juice. Dude! "Hi, Clark," Li'l Flash says, in his red hoodie. "What took you so long?" Ha! I like this kid. Clark looks at Li'l Flash like every put-upon parent on TV.

The Mountin'. Is that show still on the air? Jesus. Hey, did you guys know that Van McNulty is on Desperate Housewives? Just sayin'.

Kent Farm, again. As they enter the barn, Li'l Flash is marveling that someone else can move like he does. Still, he thinks he's the fastest man alive. Try fastest pubescent boy. "Yeah," Li'l Flash says, agreeing with himself as he gives Clark an Elaine Benes shove in the back. "You were right on my butt, man!" Li'l Flash says. He seems a little young for that, so the less said here on the subject, the better. Flash keeps blabbing that he always wondered if there was someone else out there like him, and it turns out to be Jimmy Crack Corn, fresh from the farm. I'd say you're the fresh one, you little fast-talker, you. Clark asks how Li'l Flash conned Bo Duke out of a free meal and a place to stay. Li'l Flash says he just told Bo the truth: a few years ago, there was an accident and a huge flash of lightning. He says his body went into overdrive. Clark starts thinking about Lex. Clark asks if that happened in Smallville. Flash says it didn't; this is his first time here, and he hopes it's his last. We'll just see about those ratings, kid.

Clark gulps and walks upstairs. He says on his way that he's never known of anyone not from town with those kinds of powers. Li'l Flash advises Clark to get out more. Li'l Flash asks about Clark's powers. Clark says he was kind of born this way. Yeah, George W. It's biological! Superpowers, too, I guess. Clark asks why he lives on the streets and what happened to his parents. Li'l Flash has a rare moment to be somber and says that when he became a human lightning bolt, his parents started looking at him differently, even though they pretended things would be all right. That's his explanation? Clark asks if he ran away. Li'l Flash says he just never fit in. Clark says he ran away once, too. Li'l Flash teases Clark about why he might have come back. "Mowing the lawn, milking the cows?" Close: mowing down kyrptofreaks and milking the Lex. Flash says that Clark should be out with him, tearing it up. He's little Leo DiCaprio! Clark asks if that means stealing. Li'l Flash says he just takes a little bling from the stiff upper crust. Let me get my Urban Slang book out. Oh. Hmm. I see. It means, "Let's go to a gay bar, my new gay friend." You know what? It's not the Urban Slang book at all. I accidentally pulled out my copy of Omar's Big Book of Smallville Gay Interpretations. Perhaps I'm reading too much into this book.

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