Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Kids These Days

So check it out: I'm gonna be in Vancouver late this week. I tried to wrangle up a set visit through the usual WB channels (which as you may recall from the Al Gough interview, can take a few months longer than you'd expected), but the official word on my visit is that it's a no-go. If you're on the crew or an actor or an upper-up and want to hook a brother up, feel free to email me. I think I need to see, with my own eyes, Lex in Effect.

We open with a sleek blue car prowling the night and arriving somewhere with loud techno music. Every time I hear techno music now, I always think of "The System is Down" from Funny stuff. There's also cool airstrip-style red lights and a big green cross-looking thing out in the middle of nowhere. People are hooting and a bunch of cars are parked. So Smallville has a night life? I am shocked and amazed. How often is it on this show that we see teenagers actually acting like teenagers and not slaving away over angst and coffee, or heat-visioning toast? The car parks and Chloe get out of the passenger side. She's got her hair pulled back on both sides and it actually looks really cute. She's grinning. Pete emerges from the driver's side. When did he get a new car? That insurance money from when his car blew up last week sure did kick in fast. He says he can't believe this. Chloe says this is cool: a rave in a cave. Pete's not pleased. He asks why Chloe didn't tell him it was gonna be there. I guess the name, "Rave in a Cave," didn't tip him off. Ungh thunk ungh thunk, woot toot toot toot! "The system is down!" Hee. Chloe says she didn't know; she just downloaded the directions on "The Internet." I've heard of that! As they walk past parked cars and headlights, Pete says that Clark is gonna go crazy. Clark asks what's up with Clark and his obsession with the caves. "I don't know. I think Kyla [from "Skinwalker"] really got to him," Pete says. It may be dark, but a bright shining light splays down from the heavens, illuminating all that is good in a one-mile radius. It's the great and powerful beam of Continuity. And it is Good. Pete whips out his cell to let Clark know about the party. Chloe stops him. She says the caves have been around hundreds of years: "I don't think a little Moby is gonna hurt them." I still say Moby should have this huge, deep, gravelly voice given his name. When he speaks, he shouldn't sound like the guy who does your parents' taxes. Chloe and Pete go inside. Somebody in the background is jumping rope badly. It's hilarious.

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