Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Kids These Days

Outside, Pete is sitting on the hood of his car and twirling some keys on a finger. Ooh, that's bad, baby. Clark chases after Chloe and says they both have to get to a hospital. Pete is not liking the doctor talk and asks what happened to his little red rock. Clark has figured it out. He asks how Pete could do that. Pete says Clark needed it (to which I'm inclined to agree) and goes to look for the red rock. He suggests that Clark and Chloe can suck face later. Clark beats the emergency room drum again. Pete rears back and punches Clark right in the face. Clark is affected. In fact, he falls back a few feet, hits a newspaper machine, and seems unconscious. "Whoa," Chloe says. "How'd you do that?" Pete opens his hand and he's holding the green meteor rock. Pete says that Clark may be a boy scout, but Pete's always prepared. Pete and Chloe drive off, leaving Clark lying on the sidewalk. From Clark's point of view, we see Lana come out with a bucket of water and dump it on his face. Clark comes to and asks where Chloe and Pete are. "I don't know!" Lana says, exasperated. She really doesn't care, either. Aw, Clark is all wet. Lana turns to leave, but when she looks back, Clark is gone. The people walking by don't notice the water, nor Clark zipping off at superspeed.

The gorge! Chloe and Pete drive up to the edge of a cliff. This is so "Bart the Daredevil." Pete admires the drop. "It'll be like flying," Chloe says. "Who needs Clark?" Pete asks. "Yeah, screw Clark!" Chloe yells. Right on, girl! Pete backs up a ways. Pete says they have ignition. "Blast-off!" Chloe says. Are those famous Kansas mountains in the background? Chloe hoots as they take off. Commercials!

Grounded for Life, now on The WB! Ignore it for the second time!

Back to the gorge! Chloe and Pete sail off the cliff. They scream happily. Toonces, no! Inside-the-car view. We see Clark standing in front of the car as it's about to hit the ground front-first. Outside view, now, and Clark is holding the car in his arms, squatting it. Chloe and Pete think this is totally awesome. Chloe wants to do it one more time. Clark says they're done. Aw, man!

Smallville Medical Center. The place for head wounds, mutant deaths, and insurance-free dropkicks. In Chloe's hospital room, there are some flowers and a big, purple stuffed animal. Is that from Lex? Clark enters the room and sits by Chloe's bed. He asks how she's feeling. "Finally made the Wall of Weird," she says. Clark congratulates her. Chloe asks about the thing they extracted from her. She asks if there's a picture of it she can see. So, let me get this straight. Clark somehow managed to get Chloe and Pete to the hospital in some unseen way that he hasn't been able to the rest of the episode. Chloe and Pete, of their own free will, allow the doctors to sedate them and perform surgery without pitching a fit and using the hospital gurneys to race down the hall and smash their heads at the end of the hallways. And the doctors know enough about strange mutant parasites to be able to perform a surgery without killing one or both of them. And the Center for Disease Control, a biohazard team, the FBI, and every news outlet in a five-state radius isn't swarming into the hospital? Riiiiiight. I'll have to remember to be in Smallville next time I have an alien parasite in me. Things might have turned out much differently for Ripley if she and her crew had been here instead of dealing with face-suckers in space. Clark says she doesn't need to see the parasite. "Gross?" Chloe asks. Yeah. Gross. Pete's fine, too, by the way. See above. Clark asks what Chloe remembers. She only remembers up to the point where they were talking to "that obnoxious professor." Aw, she doesn't remember "cunning linguist"? That should be in the Chloe Hall of Fame! She says that everything else is a blank. She asks if she missed anything exciting. Nope. Nothing at all. You'll hear about it tomorrow at school. Clark is glad she's fine. He should remind her to get her Frequent Hospital Visitor card punched. After the fifth visit, you get lime Jell-O! Lana comes in with a tall, but thin flower arrangement. She didn't know Clark was there. He says it's fine; he was just leaving. Clark tells Chloe he'll catch up with her later. Chloe makes him promise to while Lana sulks in the background. Lana can't even look at Clark. He apologizes. Lana says she's not there to see Clark. She's at the hospital to see her roommate. "She's been ill," Lana says. Are you sure you're not supposed to be on Days of Our Lives? Lana greets Chloe with a big fakey "Heeeeey!" Chloe doesn't think anything's wrong? Chloe says she doesn't really remember what happened, but she feels like she should be apologizing for something. Lana says that Chloe wasn't herself. Chloe asks about the date with Clark. Chloe asks if she screwed it up. Lana says Clark screwed it up all by himself. Lana says she caught him making out "with another girl." Hesitantly, Chloe asks, "Who was the girl?" Long pause. Lana says she didn't recognize her. Lana sad. Chloe suddenly sad. Somebody get some antidepressants in here, stat!

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