Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
Kids These Days

Inside the cave. LOUD! Cave paintings from "Skinwalker." Thunk, thunk, wonk, wonk, boom boom, yeaow yeaow. Party people in the cave going nuts. Folks are dancing. Lights are set up everywhere. This is the first enjoyable thing I've seen to do in town all season. Ba-dank ba-dank, donk, donk, diggie donk. I can't tell you how fun it is to type that. More cave paintings. How tribal. Donk donk, diggie donk. Chloe and Pete walk inside slowly. Give in to the groove, Pete! It's all you, baby! Pete goes straight to a couple that's kissing. He interrupts them and tells them to step back off the walls. "The paintings!" he says. They ignore him and go back to kissing. Chloe smiles. She tells him she doesn't think they care about the cave paintings. "These pictographs are sacred!" Pete says. Pete is suddenly Mr. Natural Preservation. Chloe goes back to the couple and tells them that the clay doesn't wash out of your clothes. The couple disperses even though the guy's not even wearing a shirt. Chloe says you've got to hit them where it hurts. Now that that's resolved, Pete is free to bob his head about the cabin. There's a DJ spinning. Wonka wonka, thong thong. "Never gonna come back down!" the music blares. "The system is down!" A straight-up nerd, circa 1987, in a little sweater vest and huge glasses, comes up and kisses Chloe right on the mouth. "Travis! What are you doing?" she asks. He looks more like a "Trevor" than a "Travis." He's all sweaty and Bill Gates-lookin'. He says he's taking his shot. "I always through you were hot!" he says, giddily. Chloe says he's wasted. He says he's just high on life. And asthma inhalant. "Woooooo!" he goes and, because I too was once El Nerdo, I have to laugh in appreciation. Travis the Nerd goes off and starts climbing some metal stands. Pete comes over and asks if Chloe was making out with her Chem partner. Travis has climbed up and has the crowd on his side. He keeps going as Chloe and Pete yell after him to come down. No way, baby. The system may be down, but The Travis is up! Everybody hoots and hollers while Travis does a one-handed rolling motion. Too. Funny. Travis goes even higher. Pete, in vain, yells again. Crane shot of Travis living large up there. Pete, for no reason, goes and stands by himself with his back to a cave wall drawing. We cut to a shot from inside a crevice. We can see the back of Pete's neck. Pete looks around. "I'm invincible!" poor Travis says as he leaps, belly-flop-style, from the rafter. But are you a Golden God? Just as Travis lands crunchily, something bites Pete on the neck. He goes, "Aggh!" and grabs at his nape. Chloe looks at Travis in horror. He's flat and bloody on the ground. Goodbye, Travis. Pete goes from an expression of hurt to pure elation. The Pete is back up! Oh yeah. Pete's groovin' now. Watch out, ladies. Sloppy zoom in on the crevice that blurs to black. Opening credits. I'm thinking Clark must have a strict "No saving nerds" policy, or he would have been there rescuing Travis.

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