Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Kids These Days

Clark is walking down the street reading the front page of the Smallville Ledger. The main headline reads, "Local Teen Dies in Cave Rave." A downpage above-the-fold headline reads, "Presidential Focus: Strength Through Unity." Oh, this show must be a fantasy after all. Clark turns around in time to see a motorcycle approaching on the sidewalk. People part ways to avoid getting run over. The bike jumps over a little triangular sign, brakes, and stops in a turn right in front of Clark. It's Pete, who's taken his off-roading on to the main road. And, um, the sidewalk. A woman drops her groceries. Clark asks if Pete is nuts. Pete says he's taking a little spin. "Driving like a wild man! Without a helmet!" Clark whines. Clark needs to just go ahead and join AARP. Go to bed, old man! Clark says that Pete could have hurt someone. Or himself. Pete says that's a rush. Unnecessary camera spin. As Pete inspects his bike, Clark says he heard about what happened at the caves. Clark says he's sorry he wasn't there to back them up. Yes, Clark is backup to Chloe's and Pete's own superhuman skills. Pete spouts something about how the moment you're most alive is right before you die. Unless you're lying on the ground with the blood spilling slowly out of you. I'm not sure that axiom applies then. Pete says at least Travis had that. It's Trevor! No, wait. It is Travis. My bad. Clark asks if Pete's feeling okay. Pete says he's fine. Clark says that if Pete wants to talk, Clark's there for him. Pete chuckles and says that all Clark does is talk. For a guy who can't get hurt, Pete says, Clark never takes any risks. Clark, called on his shit, seems a little uncomfortable. He says that's not true. The poor woman in the background is picking up her groceries. Pete asks about Lana and why Clark doesn't take his shot with her now that "Fordman is toast." Ooh, the Jocko Whitney disses just keep on coming. Pete points, and there's Lana across the street, outside The Talon. She smiles at Clark and goes inside. Clark points out that Jocko Whitney was Pete's friend. More continuity? Why, thank you! Clark says it's not so easy to just go up and ask Lana out. Pete asks if it's because Clark's afraid to share his secret. Jeez, which one? Pete says Clark shared the secret with him and they're "still cool." Clark says that's different. Pete counters that Clark's just afraid Lana will shut him down. "You only go around once," he says. "Forget the past." What is this, Rent now? No day but today, Clark! Pete revs his bike, bounces up and down, and advises Clark to focus on the future. He does a skidding turnaround and drives off. Pete does a wheelie as he goes, and people on the sidewalk scatter. Clark looks over at The Talon like it's Mount Everest. He makes some sort of wussy tentative decision and starts walking over. The Talon marquee reads, "Espresso for your morning rush." After I drink espresso in the morning, I rush right to the bathroom.

Inside The Talon, Clark brushes off his brown jacket (which I like much better than his red one) and spots Lana on the floor, chalking out some items on a menu stand. She breaks her chalk or something and looks flustered for a second, then, in all seriousness, asks if Clark heard about Travis/Trevor. "Yeah, pretty sad, huh?" Clark says. Lana says that the police think he might have been on something. Sparkling white grape soda? Lana says you never know when something like that's gonna happen, and that's the only explanation, and you never know when your time is up. Is she taking Bo Duke's Platitude Correspondence Course? Clark wisely says nothing. Lana, in a completely unexpected and uncharacteristic move, suddenly changes the subject to herself and how her guidance counselor said she needs to embrace the future. "Carpe diem," she says, in much the same way she enthuses about Neutrogena. Lana says she thought about that and decided she doesn't want to be a spectator in her own life. As she says this, she walks behind the counter to be a spectator in customers' much more interesting lives. Clark agrees. He nods a tiny bit and says, "We should go on a date." Lana looks up. "Together," Clark says. Oh, well that's totally different. "In the near future," Clark adds. Now, that's completely out. Lana asks if Clark is serious. No. He's Clark. Clark says he was serious. He starts to wuss out, though. "If you don't want to go..." he begins. "When?" Lana asks. Clark asks if she'll go. "Yeah," she says. Then she moves her head around a lot and smiles and says she's assuming that was the answer Clark was looking for. I know I should be happy for them, but have you ever had a friend who was so awkward that when they hooked up with another awkward person, it was like watching two trains crash into each other at 10 mph? Clark finally smiles and says he didn't think it would be that easy. Are you kidding? You just shit your pants! Lana says that all he had to do was ask. So let that be a lesson, WB boys. Clark asks if tomorrow would work. "Sounds like fun," Lana says. But is it as fun as a cave rave? Thonk thonk thonk thonk, "The System is Down!" Clark says, "All right. It's a date." "Okay," Lana says. Damn, is this scene still going? Long pause. Clark walks out, smiling. Lana turns her head around and then whips it really fast to the right in glee.

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