Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Kids These Days

Caves. Snideface has some laptops set up, and a crew. They've got a grid projected on the cave wall, and he's talking about baselines and crap. Lex shows up. He got a message. Snideface says that Lex has to see something with his own eyes. He shows Lex a parasite he caught. It's in a large jar of what appears to be urine or pickle juice. He shows Lex some writing near the crevice. He doesn't know what it says, but he thinks it's some kind of warning against intruders. Or it's the castle of "Aaaaauuuuggghhhh --" Lex looks at the parasite. They don't know if it's poisonous. Snideface says they destroyed the hive with liquid nitrogen. Lex wonders if the tribe put the buggers there to ward off intruders. Lex says he wants live specimens sent to Cadmus Labs in Metropolis. We get a close-up of a nasty parasite in what I imagine to be Moe the bartender's pickled egg jar.

Clark walks into The Torch. He's about to tell Chloe he needs something, but whoa, what's this? Chloe's making out with some Ryan Seacrest-lookin' dude. Chloe stops kissing and says she's done. Chloe, sporting mondo Chloeavage, walks over to her desk. The pretty boy asks for her phone number. "Why?" she says. "The thrill is gone." Pretty Boy walks past Clark, all dejected. You should work on that thrill thing, dude. Clark asks who that guy was. Chloe says she doesn't know; she met him in the hall and asked if he wanted to do some investigative reporting. He asks if Chloe's all right. She says, "Don't tell me you're jealous. I thought you only had eyes for Lana." She says she heard about Clark's date, but he didn't have the guts to tell her about it. Clark asks if that's what this is about. Chloe, who's wearing hot red, tells him not to flatter himself and that she's just exploring her options. "So what can I do for you?" she says, not taking her eyes off Clark and sucking on a big, red lollipop. Oh. My. Haltingly, Clark asks about the back-of-the-neck wound that Travis/Trevor had. More lollipop sucking. Is it a Chupa Chup? As she pulls the lollipop out of her mouth, Chloe asks what orifice Clark pulled that theory from. Clark says that's harsh. Chloe says Clark doesn't put the mute button on his skepticism when Chloe takes a logic leap. Clark explains the theory of a parasite wanting more and more adrenaline. Chloe asks if they wouldn't have found the parasite in the autopsy. Not if it burrowed out, Clark says. Brilliant. Clark asks Chloe to talk to Pete about it. In a flirty way, she says, "I'll do it for you." Clark tells her just to get Pete to her house. "It's a date," Chloe says, and takes one last suck on the pop. I try to think unsexy thoughts.

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