Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | 685 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
House Of Flying Bullshit

Jason and Lex see the same map on the garment. The map on it suddenly CGI-shifts to the real-world view of a tree with the temple framed in its fork. Mulana is already there, map in hand, having figured out what's up. She pulls red rose petals out of her pocket and spreads them while chanting, "Spectacu lapis." The Superman-8-ball symbol suddenly appears in the ground. Mist is all around. The ground suddenly fissures amusingly. A small sculpture of a horse suddenly appears from underground. It's Meteor! The Stompy Horse! Come to get revenge! Rock! Mulana looks scared. That's right, Mulana. He's gonna clobber you in the toe. The tiny horse statue has its mouth open all wide. It's hilarious. Mulana grabs the figure. She frowns at it. She takes it over to a rock and smashes it open. Bad Meteor! Mulana gets revenge instead. It's very sad. This had to be an inside joke, don't you think?

Clark, still in the temple, hears a piercing sound and covers his ears as soon as the horse is smashed open.

Mulana finds the stone, which looks more like a piece of smooth scrap metal.

Clark. Still with the piercing sound. He superzips out of the temple without being noticed by Lex or Jason, apparently.

Mulana is holding the stone in a piece of red cloth. But only for a second, because Clark zooms by and steals it. Like an idiot, he stands right nearby instead of running all the way to Nepal by now. It gives Mulana time to shoot a fireball at him and send him flying. Dumb-ass. Mulana grabs the piece from the muddy ground, again with the red cloth. It's got the 8-ball symbol on it. She covers the thing with the cloth completely and shoves it in her pocket.

The temple. Mulana walks down the same hall again. This must have been tons of fun to shoot. Clark superzips into the scene, standing in front of her. She informs him that nobody has sacrificed as much as she has for the stones. Clark says they don't belong to her. "Do you think that they were meant for you?" she snipes. She says they were left for nobody; the God of the temple hid them for his return. Mulana holds up her hands. Swords come from decorative pieces on the walls and land on her hands. She's Yoda! This is pretty damn funny. "In a godda big vamoose!" she cries. She puts the swords together and they glow electric purple. Clark is so screwed. Mulana hurls a sword at him. It flies in slow motion toward Clark. Kerpow! Right in the damn shoulder! Ouch! Clark is pinned to a column. He's bleeding. Mulana wire-flies across the room. Why didn't she demonstrate these skills the last time she was around? She can only use her martial arts when she's in China? She comes at Clark with another sword. He manages to pull the one from his shoulder. He dodges as she swings and hits the column. More sword twirling. Mulana keeps swinging at Clark and he keeps dodging. She does that little slow-motion leap in the air for no reason and they clash swords again. She leans backward and swings, spinning. I will say this about Kristin Kreuk, and it's not because she's part Asian: she looks pretty good doing this swordplay. It doesn't look completely crazy as it might if, say, Lois were doing it.

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP