Smallville
Sacred

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Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
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House Of Flying Bullshit

Commercials. Another preview for what's later in the episode. Flying kung fu bullshit. I was really trying to figure out at this point how they were going to get from here to that. It turned out not to be so perplexing.

Uh oh. Love come quick. Love come in a hurry. There's thieves in the temple tonight! And they're named Clark and Lana. Sen is telling them that during the Cultural Revolution, the government destroyed lots of temples, but not this one. She says that villagers have been afraid to cross the threshold lest the God return as He promised. Got all that? More interestingly, Luke Perry is guest starring on What I Like About You, according to a crawl on my screen. Important music plays as Clark looks around the temple. Clark sees a big circular shape in a wall with a Superman crest right in the center. He uses his X-ray vision on it and sees a treasure of some sort inside. Lana asks if he found something. "Just more symbols," he says. He suggests that Lana and Professor Sen go search by themselves while he commits mischief in here. Sensilkily walks sideways as she says, "This way." Lana walks normally, but Sen wanted her to walk her way. Clark watches them leave, all obvious, and then gets down to business. He goes over to the circular part of the wall and pushes, and then moves aside a giant round covering. Yeah, I'm sure Papa Luthor's people had no idea anything was up with that huge indentation in the wall. Clark looks inside. There's a very nice shirt on display, propped up by an ancient mannequin from before there was a Gap. Above it is a papier-mâché mask made just that day, with bulging Radio Shack eyes. The eyes suddenly grow bright green. Clark moans. He falls to the floor. Yeah, nice move there, Clark.

Meanwhile, Sen and Lana are trying to walk sneakily through the temple, but it just looks like the most obvious slow walking in the world. They hear a noise. A door suddenly opens right in front of them. "Run, Lana!" Sen yells. The guards yell gibberish. One of them shoots Sen and tosses her aside. See ya, Sen. Lana falls on the floor. A guard yelling, "Ginkgo!" points a gun at her. His gun is smoking. And his baseball cap's not bad either. He notices part of the tattoo on Lana's back. The main thug puts his gun away and pulls up Lana's shirt. "Gow! Hung!" he yells, which means, "I'm making this shit up, really," in Bullshit Mandarin. We see Sen lying dead on the floor. Glad we introduced that new character and got fully invested into her existence.

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