Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 1245 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Oh, the Humanity!

Luthor mansion. Apparently all the normal light bulbs have been replaced by lime green floodlights, because everything looks overexposed and surreal and dirty, like neon bile. A young man in quasi-military fatigues walks down the hall and into the office where Lex once spent 99% of his waking hours. It's the super-adorable Callum Blue, who always sounds like a manlier version of the Geico gecko to me. "I lost her trail," he announces to a room full of soldiers dressed like him. Who's he talking about? I guess the mysterious assassin, but he never clarifies. He thinks there must me more of "us" out there. He asks if "the woman" has spoken yet, this time meaning Tess Mercer. He looks at a monitor and sees Tess lying on a bed. A male soldier says, "No, sir," and rests his hand on his gun. Callum smirks at that. He gives them permission to speak freely, although it sounded at first like he was asking for permission, which confused the hell out of me. A female soldier says Tess isn't an ally and that she's hiding something. She calls Callum "Major." He takes off his jacket, revealing the Zod symbol on his dog tag. Ground control to Major Zod! Your regiment thinks you're hiding something, too! The female soldier wants to know why they don't have the powers they should, what with the yellow sun and all. I want to know why all their weapons, clothes, and equipment looks like it came from a sporting goods store in Topeka. It's all so... mundane. Zod scoffs that his authority is being questioned by cadets. G.I. Jane thinks they deserve answers. "How did we get here? Does anybody know we're here?" Zod loses his temper and demands they salute. And kneel. "Kneel before Zod!" The male soldier knocks him right the hell out. "That's for talking about yourself in the third person, asshole!" He and G.I. Jane exchange nods.

Smallville

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