Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
Oh, the Humanity!

Elsewhere in the city, a monorail train is speeding through the night. Passengers are minding their own business when, suddenly, the sky opens up with a bolt of pink lighting. Pink light explodes inside the train. Lana? Nope, it's Lois who magically appears. She crumples to her knees and wonders, "What the hell?" I found myself wondering the same thing! Passengers mumble a bit but no one seems especially freaked out by the goings on. Lois looks down at her hands: the left one is bandaged and the right one is wearing the Legion ring. Her fingertips are dirty. Her hair is kind of insane. I mean, it's pretty, but it's just enormous. It has its own orbiting satellites. Just then, a blue bolt of lightning hits the train, causing some of the wheels to squeal and strain against the track. A masked, dark-haired woman dressed all in black appears in the flash of light and advances on Lois. (She's supposed to be Alia, but no one says her name in this episode.) They immediately start to fight, throwing punches and roundhouse kicks. The train races on. Lights flicker off. The train jumps the rail and falls what seems like a ridiculous distance. Lois, naturally, is knocked unconscious just in time for Clark to appear on the streets below. He catches the train handily. His hair, by the way, looks great. He might be dead inside, but his hair care routine is alive and kicking. He looks up through one of the train's windows and is surprised to see Lois. He stares at her for eons, then remembers he's still holding the train. He sets it down. Was everyone else unconscious, too? How did they not see him? Sappy string music plays as Clark stares at Lois for another 40 or 50 years. She starts to wake up. Finally, Clark zips the hell out of there. Lois gets up groggily and walks outside, where the side of a building has suddenly gone up in flames. As the flames quickly die back, the iconic Superman "S" logo is left behind. It looks really professional and symmetrical, especially considering Clark made it freehand. Or free-eye. Maybe he downloaded a template. From a rooftop high above, he stands dressed all in black, his long coat flapping dramatically, as he listens to the plaintive wail of distant police sirens. The glaringly poppy strains of "Somebody Save Me" start in, rescuing us from more of his emo posturing.

Fortress of Solitude. Is that the Aurora Borealis hanging out over the Fortress? Pretty. Inside, Clark is standing inside a spiral of glowing, moving Kryptonian symbols. It's apparently part of his new training, but it seems like a really crazy way to read something. It'd be like plastering the inside of your washing machine with words and then crawling inside to read them. Maybe he's just absorbing the words through osmosis. Close-up on Clark's pretty eyes as the symbols flash by. He loses his train of thought (it was just a model train anyway) as he remembers an image of Lois. Jor-El's disembodied voice stops the spiraling words and remarks that his son is distracted. He was supposed to be ready for all this when he returned to his training. Clark fusses that he's been going there for weeks and doing everything that Jor-El wants, so, Papa, don't preach. Jor-El exposits that until today, Clark was focused and had cleared his mind and heart of those who had kept him "tethered to the human realm." Clark says that it's his continuing inability to fly that's keeping him tethered. He's like a big, handsome tetherball. "Have I not earned the same powers that Kara has?" he asks. Jor-El says Clark's "physical composition" is no different than Kara's. Clark's problem is that he still sees himself as a human. Clark denies this, saying he's given up everyone he cared about and wears the symbol of their family to remind him of his destiny. Jor-El wonders if Clark tried to move on too quickly. Wasn't he the guy who tried to get a 16-year-old Clark to leave his friends and family that one time? And then forcibly abducted him and reprogrammed him just a year later? Jor-El blah-blahs about how heroes are supposed to struggle with their feelings of loss. "Something... or someone... is holding you back." Clark denies it and says he can do this.

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