Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Oh, the Humanity!

Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, it's morning, and Lois is wandering onto the wrecked train. What's she been doing since midnight? She's still wearing the same clothes. She's on her phone, leaving a message for Ollie about the "she-ninja" that's after her. On one of the seats, she finds her attacker's cloth mask and picks it up. A male voice says behind her: "Good find?" She turns around. It's Brian Austin Green. Lois, displaying what appears to be a Sullivan-Lane family trait, immediately incriminates herself. Of all the illegal things she's done, she says, this doesn't even hit the radar. She assumes he's a cop, I guess because he has a little notebook? He asks for her name, which she gives, with a Daily Planet addendum. He recognizes her and asks if she's the reporter who's been missing for three weeks. She thinks he's talking crazy, but he says it's Friday the 25th. She looks to a newspaper on one of the seats for confirmation. Does that mean the finale took place on September 4th? Man, time flies. [Also, the paper says the 25th, although, since the train crashed last night, it should say the 24th. Or maybe it's a very early edition? - Z] He checks his notepad for her name listed among the other accident victims. Brian asks her if she knows how a "seven-ton sky train bellyflops onto Main Street without a single fatality?" Lois gets a dreamy look in her eyes and says it's a modern-day miracle.

Brian doesn't look like he's buying it. He looks at the "S" logo that Clark left behind on the window. [He burned it on the wall and on the window? How many "S's" does he need? - Z] He thinks an egotistical vigilante is responsible. Lois thinks the "detective" should stick to his night job. Brian theorizes that the Blur's saves are getting bigger and he feels the need to leave his mark to prove something. Lois glares at him and notices other cops have come. Brian responds by... kissing her. Ugh. I hate meet-cutes. A uniformed cop comes in and tells the horny duo to get a move on. Lois agrees. Brian tells her, "Not bad," referring either to the cop-deflecting ruse or to the kiss, or both. She responds by driving the heel of her boot into his foot. He watches her leave with an appreciative smile. Guys love it when girls beat them up.

Chloe walks in to her darkened apartment. The lights come on, surprising her. Even more surprising are all the new computer workstations that now surround her. There are at least six of them downstairs and several upstairs, along with a dozen or more additional monitors. Did someone open an Internet café while she was out? Chloe stares in wonder and confusion. Emil appears at the top of the stairs and says, "Oliver may be AWOL... but his funds aren't." Chloe wonders if Emil shouldn't be packing up Ollie's pleather collection. No, because then how would he try them on? Emil admits that Chloe made a persuasive argument before. "There are people worth fighting for," he says. She gives him a pretty smile and doesn't know what to say. Emil says he'd be more comfortable if they just got down to work. That was... weird. Is he just socially awkward, or did he think she was coming on to him? He is wearing a very nice suit. Chloe gets to work: She tells Emil that Lois suddenly appeared and was attacked by a female assassin. She shows him the Legion ring and says she thinks Lois was in the future. "Transversing chronal anomalies," Emil technobabbles thoughtfully. He goes to an especially fancy computer built into the surface of a desk. He touches a blank screen and it comes to life. He ran two scans at the time of the monorail crash and found two rips in the "temporal aperture continuum." Chloe's like, "You pullin' words out of your ass!" No, really, she asks him to "dumb it down" for her. What happened to your brain, Chloe? He explains, and Chloe realizes the rips account for Lois and the assassin's sudden appearance. Also, the scan of the rips totally looks like a pair of boobs, complete with areolae.

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Smallville

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