Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Coma Chameleons

The Talon. An American flag waves flaccidly outside. Inside, Jason is packing up a totebag. He was living with Lana? How sinful! Sure she's still a virgin? Lana walks in carrying a bag of Chinese food. Oops. She's suddenly crestfallen. She asks if Jason would have been gone if she'd taken a little longer. Jason says he would have been there, figuring out what to say. Lana scoffs. She asks what's up. "Is this because of your mom?" she asks. She says that Jason's been different since Lana met his mother. Jason says he's been different since he came to town. Six months ago, he says, he'd have never groveled to someone like Lex for a job. Welcome to being an adult, buddy. Lana looks hurt. The worst part, he says, is that he was embarrassed to tell Lana. She asks when he's ever been that way around her. He says that's exactly the problem: he doesn't like the person he's becoming around her! Yes! It's true! He's become a totally shriveled and tiny man. Behold the power of Lana! Jason says he doesn't want to wait around for Lana to resent him as much as he resents himself. "That's not why you're leaving," Lana says grimly. Of course not. It couldn't have anything to do with you, could it, Lana? Jason looks like he's going to cry. Lana says that the one thing she learned from her relationship with Clark was when someone's not being honest with her. Way to bring up your old boyfriend in the middle of an emotional moment with Jason. Jason looks at Lana reluctantly. He thinks about that. Lana asks him just to tell her the truth. He takes one last look at her. Sneers a tiny bit. Grabs his bag and kisses her on the side of the head. "Be careful," he says, as Lana tears up. Jason walks out the door. Lana watches him go.

Foliage! Lots of flowers in front of the school. The strummy music continues to play in case you missed Gilmore Girls this week. The Torch. Chloe is on the phone, sniffling. Clark walks in and gets the ugly end of a Chloe truth-seeking mission. She says she just got off the phone with LuthorCorp, and that they won't make a statement about their chemical explosion. "I mean, what is that?" she whines at Clark. She yells that there's no lawsuit, and that the whole thing is being forgotten about. "What?!" she demands. "What!?" She bangs on the desk for emphasis. She says it a third time, breathing heavily. Clark takes off his backpack. He says this is more than amped, even for Chloe. Her mouth hangs a bit. She looks like she's about to bust out in tears. She says it's displaced anxiety. "I found my mom, Clark," she says, seriously. Clark says that's great. Chloe says she's put out her feelers for years, but that three months ago something finally came through. She looks away and her voice chokes. She looks back at him and reveals the big secret: "She's in a mental institution." As soon as the words are out of her mouth, the tears in Chloe's eyes come. She sniffs. It's painfully sad and the best scene by far of the episode. Forget I ever said that they shouldn't bring Chloe back from the dead if they're just going to treat her like crap. Clark sighs with an alarming lack of sensitivity as if to say, "Well that sucks." He does say he's sorry. Chloe, now crying, says that the real kicker is that it's hereditary. Clark takes Chloe's arms and says that if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you're not destined to follow in your parents' footsteps. "Yeah. Thanks," she says.

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