Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Coma Chameleons

A framed photo of Lana and Jason in Paris, standing under a Metro sign. Chloe watches as Clark picks up the photo and stares at it. For once, he doesn't X-ray or eyejaculate all over something he's looking at intently. Chloe says she doesn't want to go "Dr. Phil" on Clark, but asks if he shouldn't admit that Lana and Jason are in a relationship. Clark scoffs that he's past that. Also, what's a "relationship?" Chloe chides Clark for his trance-like jealous state. Clark says he could have used more time to ease into the idea. Next time Lana decides to date someone, she'll give you some warning so you can update it in your Palm Pilot. Chloe tells Clark you don't ease out of being in love with someone. Clark bitches about the way he found out. Chloe gives Clark a pointed look and says we all keep secrets for a reason: "Don't think I have to tell you that." Chloe, over Clark's objections, goes through Jason's backpack. She pulls out Jason's organizer and says that if they backtrack through his last few days, it might help. Chloe discovers that Jason had a meeting at LuthorCorp that morning. Drama! Clark asks why Lana didn't mention that. "Maybe she didn't know," Chloe says.

One trip to LuthorCorp later. We're still near town, but we're using the Metropolis gray lens filter to show the exterior of Lex's plant. There's a fence, but no security guard. Chloe uses her dad's old swipe card, which somehow still works, to enter the facility. Chloe mentions that the weekend overtime shift should be in full swing, and the place should be full of productive worker bees. Chloe tells Clark to go talk to Lex while she goes and take a backstage "tour," except the way she says it, it sounds like "store." Clark goes off in search of love as marching music plays. Very Alexander. In multiple ways.

Inside. Clark rounds a corner where there are lots of pipes and shiny surfaces, just as Lex is skulking down the hall. "Clark!" Lex calls, and doesn't seem happy to see him. "How the hell did you get in here?" Lex barks. He didn't mind it the 500 other times Clark showed up unannounced at his place. Clark says lamely that the gate was open and security was MIA. Lex wipes his mouth and, as he continues walking past Clark, tells him it's a restricted area. Clark asks for a bit of Lex's time. Like "making time"? Lex opens a wall panel, pulls out a very important-looking red phone, and tells the waiting attendant on the line that he needs a guest escorted out. Lex apologizes, but says he just got in from Metropolis and has a lot to do. Clark thought Lex had a meeting that morning with Jason. Lex says that Jason's meeting was with the head of Lex's HR department. "You giving him a job?" Clark asks. If there are jobs, be they hand, blow, or other, they're going to be given to Clark, dammit. Lex says he was just giving Jason some leads; he felt guilty for the whole school firing thing. Lex says that Jason didn't want to tell Lana about it. Clark tells Lex that Jason is in the hospital with "neurological stress." Lex breathes heavily and turns away. Clark says that Lex's HR guy might have been the last person to talk to Jason. Er, before he showed up to get Lana and spoke to her, I guess. Lex says he'll find the HR guy, but tells Clark that there could be lots of reasons for Jason's conditions. Like, uh, exhaustion. Even Ruben Studdard gets that. Clark mentions that the factory is deserted halfway through a Saturday shift. Lex stops and tells Clark he'll send a specialist from Metropolis to examine Jason. He asks Clark to make sure Lana knows Lex is doing everything he can. Clark doesn't write it down, so I'm sure he'll forget. Just then, a golf cart with a security guard approaches to take Clark away.

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