Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Coma Chameleons

Kent kitchen. Clark has just gotten off the phone to his illegal source at the hospital, who told him that eight more people have come down with what Jason and Chloe have. Bo asks whether a common link might be those LuthorCorp visits. Clark says that half of the victims hadn't gone to LuthorCorp. Clark surmises that it strikes at random. Bo asks if it might be something in the air or water. Clark guesses it may show up in an environmental quality report. In, like, six months, after everyone is long dead. Someone's at the door. It's Lana, in the black trenchcoat she's been sharing with Chloe lately. She wants to know if anyone is up for some Doom II. "Lana!" Clark says. He's getting really good at this names thing. Bo lets the witchy girl inside. MamaKent says they heard about Jason. "Has something happened?" she asks hopefully. It really does sound like she's hoping Lana's boyfriend has died so that Lana can start dating her virginal son again. Lana says that one of the other infected people just died. Bo asks whether the doctors know what's going on. For the last freakin' time, Kents, NO! Lana, gulping as she talks, says that the doctors figured out that a person's heart can only take so much panic before it gives out. She smiles and then half-cries as she says she can't just sit at the hospital anymore and watch Chloe and Jason die. Clark sure didn't stick around; why should Lana? MamaKent twitches her lips in sympathy. "I wanna help," Lana tells the family. Which is great, because they really weren't doing anything, but...sure, why not. Wanna milk some cows?

At the federal prison with the nicest parking area you can imagine, inside a dramatically lit hallway, a very nicely put together woman is walking down it with a guard. She has red hair and a certain air about her. She must be the warden. Two other guards open a set of double doors, and a slim, sassy and suddenly good Papa Luthor walks between them. Warden Lady says she hopes she didn't separate Papa Luthor from his flock. He chuckles and sympathizes with her cynicism. He tells her he's a changed man. "Or a smart one," she says in a faux Kathleen Turner voice. She notes that ever since he changed into their "resident St. Paul," nobody's tried to give him the shiv. Coincidence? He steps forward and asks what the purpose of his "sinful life" would be if he couldn't use it as an example to shepherd fellow sinners. There's a lot of sin in that sentence. He says he's leading them away from hedonism, mistrust, and greed. This is prison, remember. The warden chuckles like she's flirting and says, "Uh huh." She gets a folder from her guard and says he's going to have to change congregations. The appellate court, she says, overturned his conviction. Wouldn't Papa Luthor have known that his lawyers will still working on that? "'Overturned'?" he repeats in shock. He says that his appeal isn't supposed to come up for months. He says it's not possible. The warden says he'd be surprised what's possible in our judicial system. She sounds like she really wants to have sex with a Magnificent Bastard. Papa does a long chuckle take. He tells the warden that he's tried to work the system from all angles, paying off everybody from the bailiff to the president. Pulling a real Judy Davis, the warden says that Papa shouldn't be telling her "things of this nature." He says he does: "I'm guilty." He tells her he's not guilty of the crime he was put there for (ooh, surprise!), but of so many other crimes. Question: if Papa Luthor is so content to be in jail, why was he letting his lawyers continue filing appeals? Or is it automatic? "This is where I belong," he tells Judy Davis. He says it's where he can do the most good. Warden Davis stumbles over the line "You want to stay in prison?" He does: "I've found my...[long pause] my mission in life." Warden Davis is shocked, SHOCKED! She says this isn't the Ritz-Carlton, where Papa Luthor can check in and check out at his leisure (pronounced "lezzure"). She tells him that somebody did him a favor getting him out. She advises him to grateful and get the fuck out. "Who could do that?" he asks. She says it's obviously someone more powerful than he. Is that even possible? He's a free man. Papa Luthor tries to figure out his next move.

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