Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Coma Chameleons

Kent farm. Clark superzips to the kitchen. He sees Bo lying on the floor. His coffee cup is shattered. Nooooooooo! "Dad?" Clark asks. Then he leaves Bo there. Clark notices MamaKent lying in the kitchen. A phone is off the hook and buzzing. "Mom?" he asks. She also has some broken ceramic next to her, artfully arranged to look not at all like it really fell and broke. There are also muffins on the floor. Noooooo! Clark superzips out of there.

Instead of taking his parents to the hospital, Clark shows up at Lex's research lab. Lex finishes a phone conversation. Clark says that they're running out of time. "How did you get past Security?" yells Chief Egghead. Lex says that it's all right. He says he left Clark at the hospital, and asks Clark what happened. Clark says that his parents are in there now. Oh, I guess he did take them. That was fast, I guess. "Lana, Jason, Chloe, they're all gonna die if you don't do something!" Clark yells desperately at Lex. Lex, sweaty, asks what Clark suggests he do. "Love me!" Clark wants to yell. Clark sees the vials in the antidote chamber. "Use me," Clark says. Oh, honey, do! Lex's mouth twitches. He is completely taken out of this whole crisis with those two simple words. It is indeed the Gayest Look of the Episode. "I want you to use me," Clark says. Lex still looks like he won the Willy Wonka chocolate bar contest. Clark says he came out of the coma, and that maybe there's something in him that can help. Oh, it'll help. And it will be in you. Clark says he'll give them whatever samples they need. Chief Egghead says that even if Clark's blood could help, those kinds of tests take months. "No, no!" Egghead concludes. Lex turns and tells Clark reluctantly that he can't be used. Dammit! He says they have a new antidote that'll be ready in a few hours. Clark says that's too late. Lex says the antidote has to be heated to 1000 degrees Kelvin. Did somebody say "heated"? Egghead makes the case again for testing the serum first. He even boldly asks Lex how he's going to decide who'll get the potentially fatal injection. "Whoever it is, you could be killing them," he tells Lex. Lex goes to the glass partition and looks anguished. While they're distracted, Clark's eyes go red and he eyejaculates all over the serum case. Ewwww! The vials heat up. The temperature goes way up, to 1000 Kelvin, and the serums change color. Yay! Clark and Egghead notice that the serums are done are like, "Wow. All right, then." Lex takes a sample out of the chamber. Ooh, ow, hot, hot! He loads it into the needle gun. Lex injects himself. Mmm, that's good heroin. "Mr. Luthor, no!" Egghead yells. Lex's eyes go up in their sockets.

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