Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Son of "Secrets and Lies"

Daily Planet. Lois is photocopying pages from a book on parenting teenagers. Do people still do that? Tess walks into the copy room and shuts the door behind her. "What's with all the cloak and dagger?" Lois asks. What's with all the forgetting that you now work for an evil despot from a parallel universe? You should be paranoid all the time. In fact, Tess wants Lois to talk Clark into "getting rid" of Lionel. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Lois explains that Clark is hoping that this Lionel will come around in the end, like the other Lionel did. Clark is, quite simply, a naïve moron. Fine, don't kill him because of your moral code or whatever, but expecting this new, even-more-evil Lionel to sprout a halo is just dumb. Tess is desperate. She begs Lois to make Clark do something now, but Lois is afraid because Lionel knows Clark's weakness. So does every other villain on this show, but whatever. Tess reminds Lois of what Lionel did with the last super-powered son he had. "I know how dangerous this is for Clark," Tess says. "We don't have a choice." Tess doesn't seem averse to killing people, so why wouldn't she just take out Lionel with a sniper rifle or slip a little cyanide in his mustache wax? Lois gets an idea. She thinks if they dig around, they can find where Lionel slipped up in covering his otherworldly tracks and prove that he's a fake. Tess likes this plan almost as much as the murder one.

Lab. Is this supposed to be Cadmus again? Because there's a lot of blood and plastic everywhere. Lionel looks over a printout that confirms the DNA in the tube belonged to Lex. A man in a bloody lab coat walks into the room and says the DNA came from one of the other clones. Since they're all clones of the same person, how could they tell? Lionel is pleased to learn his son is alive. Dr. Bloody says they "convinced" Dr. Lamell (the credited but unseen Lex Doig) to tell them that he's with Clark in Smallville. "It is time for my prodigal son to return," Lionel says. Then for some reason, he adds, "Yeah." Yeah!

Kent Farm. Conner's trying to tame his raging heat-vision but not even the cold shower of Clark's presence seems to be helping. He blasts right through the barn wall. "This is pointless," he sighs. "Everything we do with our powers is our responsibility," Clark says. "That's why we have to learn how to control them before they control us." Conner pouts. Having your dad teach you how to masturbate with your eyes is such a downer. Clark talks about his parents being there for him. He says his dad believed that all the hard work he made him do would teach him to control his abilities. Plus, it was free labor around the farm. He shows Conner a picture of his teen self with Ma and Pa Kent. "Conner, you may not have parents, but you have me," he says. "I'll always be there for you." Conner smiles up at him. Clark sets up a candle for Conner to practice on some more. He tells him to concentrate. Conner takes a deep breath, steels himself and glares at the candle. Twin flames shoot out of his eyes. When it's over, he blinks and finds the candle still unlit... unlike the front of Clark's T-shirt, which is now peppered with smoldering holes. "You'll get it eventually," Clark says. Conner looks sheepish.

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Smallville

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