Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | 1 USERS: A+
Heeeeeeee's Nuts

Bo Duke suddenly calls up from below. "Clark? Is that you?" he bellows. Lex whispers that the info for the attorney is in his safe. Lex can't get to it. Bo pops his head up toward the loft from the stairs. Bo says that since Clark is "up with the cows" (up with cows! Rise up, bovine-people! Mooo!), he can help with the milking. Nice, asshead dad, but I think Clark's got some milking of his own to do up here. Clark says he has some last-minute cramming to do. Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh hehehehe. Lex is hiding, but when he hears that, his mouth hangs open with lust. Lex rubs his neck in anticipation. Bo says he expects Clark to get an "A." Oh, he'll be getting lots of A, Bo Duke. Don't you worry. And I'll be going to Recapper Hell, where we burn watching episodes of 227 for being too dirty. "Yes, sir," Clark says, a bundle of hormones and moistened trousers. Clark tells Lex, after Bo is gone, that he'll go to the mansion and get those papers. Lex says it's too dangerous. Aw, he's sweet. Clark says that if somebody asks him, he'll just play dumb. Wait, Clark. You play dumb? How will you manage? Clark asks Lex to explain exactly what happened. Before we can hear it all again, we cut to another scene.

Lair of Lex. We watch Clark from behind the bar as he enters the room. A decanter of scotch sits prettily. Clark looks around, wondering if he should try to find Lex's toy drawer. He looks up and sees that all the windows up top are intact. Clark pulls out a key and opens the shelf safe by using "15988" as the code. He opens the safe. Cool blue cathode light illuminates the inside, but the safe is empty. Clark doesn't know what's up with that. He wanders down the hall, flapping his arms out in disgust. He sees that the stained-glass window Lex was supposed to have jumped through is also unbroken. A security guard stops Clark. Clark couldn't have superspeeded out of there before anybody found him? Clark tells the guard (who is not Hootie) that he's there to see Lex. The guard says that most of the house is still asleep. "Is Darius on duty?" Clark asks. The guard says Hootie had the night off. "You got stuck with the graveyard shift," Clark says, trying to make lame conversation. Clark does his x-ray vision and notices a shard of something on the ground, behind a piece of wood furniture. Clark asks if anything unusual happened. The guard says that only Clark's visit is unusual. Clark says he knows how to take a hint. He "accidentally" drops his keys and uses that as an excuse to bend over and pick up the shard. Is that like a "Bend and Snap"? Clark asks the guard to tell Hootie he was asking for him. Clark is the least smooth person in the world.

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