Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | Grade It Now!
Heeeeeeee's Nuts

Clark enters the barn. We hear Lex singing softly, "Hush little baby, don't say a word/ I'm gonna buy you a mockingbird./ And if that mockingbird don't sing/ I'm gonna buy you a diamond ring." Clark thinks it's sweet that Lex is singing to him again (early this morning it was Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up"), but it turns out Lex has his back turned and is singing at something else. Clark asks what he's doing. Lex turns. "I had to get the baby," Lex explains. "He was crying. My father woke him." Aw, Lex wants to play house with Clark! "The baby?" Clark asks. He's not ready to be a father. Lex turns and shows Clark the baby: It's a rolled-up blanket. Lex nuzzles its blanket head. Lex says it's his little brother Julian. Lex smiles at Clark. Clark starts to say something, but Lex shushes him. The baby's asleep. He continues singing. "If that diamond ring turns brass..." Lex turns to Clark and gives him a biological-clock smile -- incidentally, the Gayest Look of the Episode -- and sings, "I'm gonna buy you a looking glass/ And if that looking glass gets broke/ I'm gonna buy you a little toy boat." He's kind of given up singing by the end of that and gone spoken-word. The camera pulls back as Clark watches Lex's back. Crazy! He's crazy!

Commercials. The Cat in the Hat. Feh.

Kent Farm Yard, y'all. It's windy. Clark is explaining to his parents what's up. They ask about Julian. Clark says that Lex did have a brother, but that he died as a baby. "That must have been trow-matic for him," MamaKent says. Chloe's with Lex now, and he seems fine, Clark says. Bo kind of shuffles his feet around trying to find some blocking to do. Clark says that one minute Lex is holding a baby, and the next he's forming complete sentences. Er. Yeah. Bo is mad that Clark was hiding Lex in the barn without telling them. Oh, like it's the first time. "Dad, he was scared," Clark says, explaining that Lex thinks his dad is trying to kill him. Clark adds that Lex thinks The Edge is still alive. "Morgan Edge?" Bo asks. Bo gets non-regular viewers up to speed by saying that Edge knows all about Clark's abilities, and that Kryptonite can kill him. "How could you not tell us that?" Bo bellows. Damn, Dad, he just found out himself! Clark says there's more. "More?" Bo yells. He's about to bust a forehead vein. Clark adds the bits about the plastic surgery. Bo starts to doubt Lex's story. MamaKent steps forward to opine that they know Clark loves Lex, but that this suave bald man needs psychiatric help. Bo notices something over Clark's shoulder. It's Lex. He's mad. He says you think you know people, but you realize it's all just a façade. MamaKent says they only want what's best for him. Lex asks her to save the "cloying maternal posturing" for her own son. Ouch. Lex says he heard them talking. "Little Kent Cabal," he says. Hee. Lex says it's a selective group, and so secretive. He's...crazy! He thinks they're plotting to pack him off to the loony bin. Chloe runs up, five hours later, and says she tried to stop Lex. Lex spins on her. He's mad at everyone. Lex thinks they're all watching him. Clark goes after Lex and pulls him back by the arm when he tries to walk off. Lex says he's going to find Edge to prove he's not crazy. "You're either with me or against me, Clark, choose right now!" Lex says, right in Clark's face. Clark turns to his parents for a second, but the decision isn't hard. He goes with Lex. MamaKent and Bo are sad about their not-dead gay son.

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