Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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Marked Men

The scenes on this show feel so long. That's not just me, is it? Long scenes of two people just talking at each other. Talking and talking and talking. [It's not just you. - Zach]

We rejoin another pair of conversationalists in Africa. The camera pans across a table laden with golden artifacts from Carter's dig. Lois picks up a blue and gold necklace and snarks about how gaudy it is. Carter, trying to get some work done in another part of the tent, can't let that go by. "You might tell that to its owner, the goddess queen Isis," he says. "She spent eternity searching for the cut-up pieces of her dead husband." Lois relates Isis's ordeal to her own broken relationship with Clark. I hope for your sake that Clark's not missing his penis like poor Osiris. (I've written Egyptian-themed stuff before and yet I've never been able to work that into something until Smallville. Figures.) Carter ignores her and keeps working. Lois wanders around the tent. If she's writing about this dig, shouldn't she be... taking notes or something? She compares Carter to Indiana Jones and keeps touching stuff until he finally tells her to keep her hands off. Lois keeps flapping her gums. Carter, looking like he'd rather take a dive headlong into a crocodile tube than spend another moment in this woman's company, messages Clark: "Lois Lane is safe. You owe me big time." She wonders why a statuette of Ra has the head of a parakeet. "It's a falcon," Carter corrects her. Lois remains unimpressed. "So why was this 'hawk guy' so important?" she asks, displaying the wealth of Egyptological knowledge that made her the perfect choice for this assignment. He relates to her the abridged version of the Sun God myth. She thinks of Clark. A woman, wearing a scarf that conceals most of her face, brings them tea. "Thank you, Ati," Carter says. She leaves silently. Lois talks about how this assignment isn't in her "strike zone," seeing as how she was raised by a very practical General and all. Carter's still trying to work, but Lois goes on about living one's whole life without any proof of a god. "And then one day you look up," she says, "and the guy sitting across from you is Ra!" She goes on, talking a mile a minute, wondering what life is like for this mystery guy. It must drive him crazy having to drive something as slow as a car, for instance. Carter stops working and gives her a knowing look. "This is going to require something stronger than tea," he says. He gets out a bottle of booze and suggests Lois just ask Clark all these questions. Then he tells her to sit down before she drives him crazy. For once, Lois is silent.

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Smallville

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