A month ago, if you had shown me pictures of Boobs McChesty and told me she was going to have a naked bath scene on Smallville, I would have sweated and whooped like a cowboy on a sunny day. But now? It's all dread and malice in my heart for this scene. Why!? Why must she have the body of a Charlie's Angel and the brain of an oily pancake? It's not fair! Damn you, WB! Damn you straight to hell! Ahem. Moving on. Boobs, wearing a silk robe that looks like it was made of underground comics, is drawing a bath. She brushes her dry hair and looks in the mirror. You can actually see stray brain cells falling out of her ears in little dying clumps. She turns her back to us. Disrobes. I say a prayer that this pain will soon be over. She lies back in the tub, but it looks like her hair is wet before she even gets in the water. Bad, bad continuity, WB! The girl's hair can't even act. We pan across her body, and I swear I'm seeing a big, nebulous boob floating in the water. Maybe it's her hand, but it looks like a uniboob sitting in the middle of her sternum. She hears a noise at the door. It doesn't look like there's anything there. Which is quite common for invisible people. She settles back into her bath, uniboob and all.

A computer screen. We see the familiar "Cadmus Labs" charts. Lex is sitting at his desk. Clark comes in. How does he manage to get past the gate, like he owns the place? Lex asks if he's ghost hunting. Nope. The only thing Clark wants to find in a set of white sheets is Lex. Clark says he needs to talk to Lex about Boobs. In the specific, not general, sense. Clark is about to say he saw her going through Lex's computer, but he can't find the words. Lex finishes his thought for him. Lex says very little happens in the house he doesn't know about. He says it's a big chess game between him and Boobs. It must be like playing checkers against a particularly dense cactus. Clark moans, "You don't love her. She goes around behind your back. Why do you want her around?" Lex says it's complicated. He thanks Clark for the heads up. "That's what friends are for," Clark says. He brings up LexStalka's obsessiveness. Lex says it's just a schoolgirl crush. Lex asks about the Lana Initiative. Clark mentions the thing with Jocko Whitney and the heart medication. Lex is familiar with the drug. He says his mother was on it before she had her heart surgery. "Is that what...sorry," Clark says. Lex says his mother was sick for a long time and that she gave him the lost watch when she was close. He goes on to explain the Napoleon thing: Lex's mother had the watch made based on the painting of Napoleon's coronation. In it, Napoleon's mother is present even though she never made it to the real coronation. Napoleon asked the painter to put her in as if she were there so she could share in his glories through his sheer force of will. "Good story," Clark says. "It's a good watch," Lex says. Man. Lex is officially the best thing on television, ever.