The castle of Lexitude. We start with a shot of a fish tank and...OH MY GOD! One of the fish is talking! She's telling her daddy that things are on schedule! Oh. Damn. Boobs McChesty walks into the shot holding a phone. I would have much rather listened to what the fish had to say. In her weird, high, pseudo-posh monotone, she says Lex is playing hard to get, but that she's sure he'll come around. Playing hard to get? Didn't he just bed her in the last episode in between trying to catch glimpses of Clark on his security cameras? Lex, for his part, is in the background, shooting pool on his red table. You know what Lex really needs? A crushed velvet robe. Boobs says goodbye to her daddy and relays a message. Daddy McChesty wants to know whether Lex plans to sell the castle after they sell out his father. Boobs sits on the edge of the pool table. I've just noticed something. For this entire scene, it looks like the camera is intentionally not showing her face. They're not ashamed of her, are they? Oh, heaven forbid! Lex asks whether Daddy wants to ship the castle back to Scotland. He comes over and kisses Boobs (on the mouth), and he is completely blocking her in the shot with his head. Oh, man, it is intentional! How fun! Cut to the back of her head as they kiss. They should put her behind a fence like the neighbor from Home Improvement.
Lex and Boobs are interrupted by a throat-clearing of the female variety. LexStalka' walks in carrying a tray of drinks. She must really be trying to impress Lex, because she's wearing a purple sweater of the shade Lex usually favors. Lex asks where her mother is. LexStalka' says she has the flu and asked her purple-wearing daughter to cover. Lex asks if she's met Boobs McChesty. LexStalka' says, "Not officially." She must post on our forums, because she looks like she wants to kill Boobs. Incidentally, if Cinemax made a show called Kill Boobs with the tagline, "These Boobs are lethal!" I bet they'd get a lot of viewers. Just call me, Cinemax. I've got a million ideas just like that. Lex tells LexStalka' that Boobs is going to be staying over for a while. LexStalka' immediately pitches the tray of drinks right on her legs (if she'd pitched them at her chest, the tray would have just bounced right back onto LexStalka'). Lex bends down to help clean. LexStalka' says she's sorry and smacks Boobs on her thigh, which is clad in black pants. Lex eyes them both for reactions, secretly thinking, "Mmm...this could be interesting. In a purely sexual way, of course. No emotional attachment of any kind." As LexStalka' is on her way out, Boobs whines, "She spilled that on purpose!" She pronounces "purpose" like she's saying "pop us." Lex asks LexStalka' if it was a mistake. "Sure," she says unconvincingly, and walks out of the room with the drink tray. Boobs tells Lex that the girl clearly has a thing for him. Hey, at least she's not after his empire. Lex tells Boobs he never figured her for the jealous type. Wait till she sees him around Clark. Lex tells Boobs that the girl's parents are a fixture in Metropolis, whatever that means. Boobs tells him to send them back, like a cheap J. Crew sweater vest.