Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Nice Not to See You

Speaking of that tart, we find her on a leather couch with Lex, making out like she's in eighth grade. Oh, wait, maybe she is in eighth grade. That would explain a lot. The couch they're sitting on is this weird honey mustard yellow that looks like it belongs at a university or a doctor's waiting room. In walks my favorite magnificent bastard, John Glover as Papa Luthor. Papa tells Lex that he's disappointed. Lex, smiling, says it's good to see him, too. All the while, Boobs is rubbing Lex about the shoulders like she's some sort of horny hyena. Papa Luthor asks what Boobs is doing there. "Right now?" Lex smirks. "Working on my neck. But knowing her, I think that's just a start." Ew! You don't tell your dad stuff like that! Not even to piss him off. This family is turning into a V.C. Andrews novel. Papa chuckles. "Could this be...a PLOY! To GET my attention?" The way he says "ploy" is to stretch it out as if he's trying to hit the rafters with the word. God, I love John Glover. "Well done. It WORKed," he says. Lex tells Papa that not everything in his life revolves around his dad. Papa Luthor says, "So you're simply...being SWINdled," he says. Lex doesn't seem so chipper after that remark. Boobs protectively throws an arm around Lex. I don't think he needs protection from her unless he's stuck in the ocean and she's the only available flotation device. Papa Luthor asks if "Miss Hard Wick" will excuse them. Tee hee. Papa Luthor says they're going to have a chat about family loyalty. Boobs says that's fine, and that she's going to draw Lex and herself a "bawth." She kisses Lex, then gets up to leave. Ass shot of her walking away, but not before we get a good look at her boobs as she stands. How can objects I normally desire so much seem so disgusting to me like this? As she walks off, Boobs tells Papa Luthor that she'll send her father his regards. "Swell," Papa Luthor says simply. As Papa Luthor messes around on the liquor stand in the corner, I think I spot some blu botol bottles, just waiting for Lex.

The confrontation: Lex tells his dad that the thing with Boobs isn't really business. Papa counters, saying generations of Luthors would beg to differ. He says it's always business, especially when you're dealing with those Hardwicks. "Can't you SEE she was SENT to disTRACT you?" Papa Luthor bellows. He says Sir Harry has been nipping at Luthorcorp for months. Lex says he's just another employee of the company, as was made clear when he was sent to "this charming cow town." Again with the bellowing, Papa says that empires aren't destroyed from outside forces, they're brought down from weaknesses from within. Um, I think he's talking about you, Lex. Lex rolls his tongue in his mouth. "Smallville is your TEST! Right now, you're FAILing," Papa says. Lex tells him he knows what he's doing. Papa Luthor says Boobs is playing the only card she has, and Lex is falling for it. Lex says it's his personal life. "Not when it affects my COMpany," Papa Luthor says. Lex comes toward the camera, turning his back on Papa, and we see him in his ribbed form-fitting gray shirt, all fashionably conflicted. Nice torso, Lex. Papa comes over and stands behind Lex. He says that if Lex sells out his family, Lex will truly be alone in the world. Then he offers him a glass of what I think is sherry.

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