Smallville
Shimmer

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Nice Not to See You

Just as the moment becomes most dramatic, it's instantly diffused by the giant acting suckhole that is Boobs McChesty. She's standing in the hall listening against the door, but I don't see how that's possible because I can't imagine her fitting through a doorway with those things on her chest. She's interrupted in mid-spying by LexStalka', who apologizes for catching her doing a naughty thing. It looks like Boobs is going to say something, but once again, the show crew does us proud by cutting her scene off and making her look supremely stupid. So, huzzah!

Luthor Manor courtyard. LexStalka's brother sees his sister crying, walking across the lawn. "What's wrong?" he asks. "Her! What do you think?" she yells, and walks off. The brother looks sad.

The house without acting lessons. Lana and Clark are on the porch, going through their paperwork and a clipboard to schedule the blood drive. Clark says they're done. "You're kidding," Lana says, "everything?" Clark says they own the town. Lana says they never found a time for Clark to donate blood. He confesses that he has a thing about needles. Lana says his secret is safe. Lana thanks Clark, Clark admires Lana's extracurricular activities, blah blah blah flirtcakes. Lana says that Jocko hasn't been around much lately. Clark tells her that if she really wants to thank him, she won't bring up Jocko Whitney. Wow. Bold move. Lana looks as surprised as she's capable of expressing and finally says, "Fair enough." Clark asks if she thinks it's weird that his dad and Nasty Aunt Nell used to date. Lana says Nell doesn't talk about it much. Back in those days, they were always on the run from Boss Hogg. Lana says she thinks Nell took the breakup hard. Clark makes a clumsy segue to say that he's just glad he and Lana are so close. Lana agrees. Lana says that's the thing about Clark: he's not always there when you want him, but he's always there when you need him. Man, if they had a baby, it would be the most platitude-spouting child in creation. Clark sits next to Lana, very close. "It's a fine distinction," he says. "You're the one who's helping me with the blood drive," she says. "I am," Clark says. They lean in. "You're the one who listens," she says. "I do," he answers. Lean in some more. "You're the one who's here," she whispers. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah," Lana agrees. They lean in close, and they're right about to kiss. Of course, Nasty Nell has to come out and spoil it. She asks Clark the time. He says he guesses it's pretty late. "Smart kid," Nell says, and goes back inside. Lana clears her throat. The moment's gone. Lana packs up her stuff to go inside. Clark asks abruptly if she's ever seen the sunset from his loft. Lana says, "Yes," too quickly, then corrects herself by saying all sunsets are unique. Man. Corny. They're perfect for each other. (At least, they would be if not for Lex.) They make a date to see the sunset the next day. Then they say goodnight. Somewhere, Lex's purple underwear is tingling.

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Smallville

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