Smallville

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Canary In A Coal Mine

Clock tower at night. Lois is in an elevator. She's muttering to herself like a crazy woman...which...I guess...she is! The elevator door opens on Oliver's penthouse, where he's walking around without a shirt. Lois is like, "Whu whu whu WOW!" She breathes heavily and tells herself this is gonna be harder than she thought. Uh, Lois? We can hear you. So can Oliver. She walks right up to him and slaps him across the face, tellign him that's for breaking her heart. Aren't you dating Boy Editor, Lois? Who just died? Shouldn't you be mourning or something? Wasn't his death pretty public for an ace reporter not to know about it? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS DAMN SHOW!? "Really?" asks Oliver. He says it feels more like it was for not calling when he got back into town. Lois tells him that slap will come when he least expects it. What are you, the Slap Bet Commissioner, now? Lois asks Oliver to put on a shirt. She notices a candlelit dinner all set up nearby, and thinks that's why he removed her from his speed dial. Oliver, who has put on a shirt but refuses to button it up, asks how Lois's habit of jumping to conclusions is working out for her. Lois says that it's a huge time-saver. Oliver says that the dinner was for Lois: he knew she'd come. And if she hadn't, he'd have been on her doorstep. He's pretty talented to be able to transport dinner and a bunch of lit candles. Oliver says that he missed Lois. Good God, why? He starts to put the moves on her and get up close. Lois pretends that his moves won't work, but she says his whole shirtless routine was dead-on. Oliver says that she was all he could think about. They kiss. Briefly. Then they do it again. Lois notices Fishnet over on the balcony. She gets mad and thinks Oliver was hiding Fishnet. Oliver tells Lois to get down. They dive as Fishet lets out a might bellow that breaks all the windows. Glass flies everywhere. Even the windows hiding Oliver's Green Arrow arsenal shatter. Fishnet strides in. Oliver is unconscious. Lois tries to wake him up. As she sits up, she sees the weapons. Fishnet comes over and punches Lois in the face, knocking her out, too. Score one for leather and blondes!

Commercials. Girlicious? Seems like that's missing a few syllables.

Back at the Clock Tower. Fishnet is still walking around, looking triumphant, as Oliver and Lois sit back-to-back, each tied to a chair. Oliver says Lois's name, but she tells him not to even think about looking at her right now. Which is good, because he really can't. Lois asks, in the most annoying, convoluted way possible, why Oliver never thought to tell her that he was Green Arrow. Oliver jokes that he doesn't usually bring a compound bow on his nightly vigilante rounds. Lois can't believe he didn't tell her. "Hard to imagine why when you're taking it so well," Oliver snarks. Lois won't shut up. This will have consequences soon. Lois remembers that she kissed Green Arrow while Oliver was standing with her in the alley last year. Oliver says he remembers that detail precisely. Lois is mad that he arranged for all of that to happen. Fishnet kicks Lois across the face to shut her up, and I cheer loudly. "Ugh, how do you put up with that?" Fishnet asks Oliver. Two things; chest level. Oliver asks what Fishnet wants, and says he hopes they just started off on the wrong foot. Fishnet says that he can save the charm for his squawking parrot. (By which she means Lois.) Oliver offers to pay Fishnet. She thinks he doesn't understand justice, and asks what goes through the mind of a terrorist when he sets off a bomb in a factory. Oliver says that he and his crew have never hurt a single person, and that the factories aren't making "Christmas toys for girls and boys." Oliver bellows that he's the good guy. "Isn't everybody?" asks Fishnet, after a moment's hesitation. She calls Lex on her cell phone and tells him that if he wants "[his] boy," he needs to initiate a wire transfer. His boy? Oh my. Oliver, using a tiny sharp knife, stealthily starts to work at his binding ropes.

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Smallville

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