Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 550 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
She-dogs and cave dwellers

I've invited noted werewolfologist and werewolf Udo von Fecund to give a little insight into the werewolf psyche:

Omar: So, you're a werewolf then?
Udo von Fecund: Rrrrroooowwwrr.
Omar: Right. So, werewolves and construction sites. Stupid plot point, or merely dumb writing?
Udo von Fecund: Grrrrrrooowwwrr. Rrar. Rrar! Awwwoooooorrrr!
Omar: Fascinating.

Opening credits. Commercials. Morgan Fairchild's voice scares me.

Man, these commercials are taking forever. Now it's two annoying Gen Yers dirt-biking across Canada. Whoa, wait a minute. Clark? Pete? The fuck? Pete and Clark all of a sudden learned how to motocross and do jumps and the whole bit. Firstly, um, no. Secondly, please see the firstly. Thirdly, where did Clark get money for a motocross bike? I thought his family's farm was on the verge of insolvency. And furthermore, where did he get that cell phone last week? Did he keep some of the goods he purchased with his credit card from the "Red" episode? Fine, let's ignore this annoyance and move on. Oh, wait -- we can't. There's about another five hours of Pete and Clark's facial close-ups as they pretend they actually know how to ride those things. And you know what? The slow motion only makes it last that...much...longer. Pete and Clark stop at the construction site. Pete asks why the police are on the site. Clark says there was some kind of explosion the night before. Good thing they had their trusty dirt bikes to scope out the scene. And what about Chloe? She can't get all extreme and gnarly, too? Pete hopes the police trouble means that Luthorcorp will get the hell out of town. Clark says it's an office park, not a toxic waste dump, and what's the harm in that? Clark offers to race Pete. They rev out of there. More riding. More jumping. Clark suddenly hits a log and tumbles headfirst into the air. He falls right on an unstable piece of ground, and falls through the earth into a tunnel below. Yes, of course. Happens all the time.

Smallville

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