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Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
She-dogs and cave dwellers

Commercials. Lex's little promo shows up right before them, as if he's looking on, all jealous.

Lana and Henry Small at The Talon. He's got a Michael Gross thing going on there. Norah Jones is playing in the background, and for once I thank my lucky stars over the music on this show. Lana thanks Non-Flattened Dad for helping the Native American cause. He breaks some news: he got the DNA test back. "It looks like we share the same DNA," he says. Don't all humans share DNA on some level? "So you really are..." Lana says, after breathing dramatically. Lana says he's her father. He says he hasn't earned that place in her life yet, but wants to. Next time on Faerie Tale Theater: Monkeys that can fly! Lana is all smiles.

Construction site. Protesters. Bulldozing. MamaKent, wearing a red coat, walks up to Elder Dude, who is standing on the opposite side of the fence. He says that if she's looking for Clark, he's documenting the caves with Kyla Ho. He neglects to mention that they're getting their Kickapoo on. She says she's there on business: Papa Luthor wants to sit down with Elder Dude and talk. He says he's usually better at spotting a wolf in sheep's clothing. MamaKent says that she understands the importance of the caves more than anyone. She says there must be a way they can work something out. Elder Dude says to forgive his skepticism, but every time Native Americans are asked to peacefully coexist, they've been killed or forced onto reservations. Stupid white woman. Henry Small comes up just then and puts his Birkenstock in the door. He presents a cease-and-desist order until a hearing a week later. Elder Dude tells MamaKent he'll see Papa Luthor in court. I wonder if he knows that Papa Luthor won't see him. Ethan walks up just then as the most non-threatening police officer since Andy Fife. Ethan gets right down to business. He puts Elder Dude under arrest for the foreman's murder. "Wait, murder? There has to be a mistake," Henry says. Dude, you just got yourself in a world of trouble with your wayward DNA. Ethan says they found a towel with blood on it in Elder Dude's trash. Elder Dude immediately blames MamaKent's boss for framing him. Ethan takes Elder Dude away.

Stately Luthor Manor. Clark walks in as Lex finishes up a phone conversation. Clark says he needs help: bail money for Elder Dude. "He's being set up. I think by Luthorcorp," Clark says. Oh, sure, just grab one of the big canvas bags with the dollar sign on it on your way out, Clark. Lex says that's a serious accusation. He says that Clark going against his dad is a little like David going after Goliath. Didn't Goliath get smoked in that fight? "Where do you stand?" Clark asks. In your shower, or haven't you noticed every morning? Lex says that any culture that's left a legacy to endure for centuries has earned his respect. But he doesn't think it's a fight Clark can win. Lex asks if Clark's campaign has anything to do with a "doe-eyed crusader." Lex says he heard about Kyla Ho from MamaKent. See, even MamaKent is trying to get Clark and Lex back together. Clark asks if Lex ever thought he was destined to be with someone. Now Clark's just being cruel. Lex says he's surprised Clark moved on so quickly. Yeah, getting over Lex usually takes at least six months. "What happened to Lana?" Lex asks, and you can tell he's holding back a giggle. Clark says it's a completely different feeling when someone likes you back. Oh, you mean like Chloe? Clark asks Lex to help him with the bail money. Lex says no. "Maybe I can get you to change your mind," Clark says. Lex gives Clark a look that says, "I thought you'd never ask. Let's put this issue of money aside and start spending someone else: each other." It is, in case you have to ask, The Gayest Look of the Episode.

The Talon. That new Vanessa Carlton/Carlos Santana song is playing. I hear they weren't even in the same studio when that was recorded. Santana was all, "Hey, just tell her to record the damn vocals. I'm going to San Jose for a drum circle. Got no time for thirteen-year-old singers that are gonna make my album go platinum. Tell her there's chicken salad in the fridge and not to put a damn flying piano in the video for this song. Horale." But I digress. A green banner reads, "Save the cave." When trouble is near, make a banner! Lana has got a clipboard and is signing people up for who knows what. Chloe walks in and goes straight to Lana. She says that Lana must have gotten roped into Clark's "activist phase." Chloe's thinking, "You need to dump the hero and get with...a girl hero!" Lana hands Chloe a button and says they're fighting for something important: draw-rings. Chloe says she's never seen Clark this passionate about a cause. Lana says it's not just the cause Clark is passionate about. Ooh, girl, dish it! Chloe asks what it is about Kyla Ho that breaks through Clark's shiny armor. Must be that she just goes up and kisses him instead of giving Clark moony eyes and talking about a boyfriend who's now in the military. Lana says she always thought Clark was insular, but maybe he was just waiting for the right Lex, er, "person." Chloe starts to ask something, but does a nice little interrupt-take when a guy throws some money into a collection basket Lana is carrying around. Chloe asks if the thing with Kyla Ho might have something to do with a letter Lana was writing to Jocko Whitney. Chloe apologizes for spotting the letter on the counter that morning. Lana says she and Jocko have been writing to each other every week since he left. She says he hasn't really been responding much lately. Lana just now realized this. Chloe asks if she'd be evil for suggesting that Jocko is trying to move on. I just noticed that Chloe's hair makes her head look like a blonde penguin. Lana says Jocko has shared more with her than he did when they were together. Stamps, for instance. And letterhead. Lana asks why guys keep their emotions in the closer you get to them. Chloe says it's a protective instinct, and maybe they should stop falling for guys (oh my) who are trying to save the world. Yeah, guys who are trying to destroy the world are much sexier. Lana smiles, but it deflates.

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