Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Double-O-Lame-O

Commercials. KFC: use it to create awkward domestic situations! They'll be even greasier!

Chloe is sneaking into a server room that is so secure that the door is left unlocked. Your tax dollars at work. The room is also devoid of technicians even though all the computers and machinery in the room seem to be running. Chloe walks over to the command module and starts typing. She manages to pull up an image of the rooftop of The Daily Planet.

We cut to Jimmy, who is crawling around in the air ducts. I want to go to the beach! Right now! Jimmy is examining his little PDA, which has a map of where he's going. A prompt points to an object and says, "Aluminum case > > File: Confidential Personnel." Jimmy, who has a ski mask on his head, but hasn't used it to cover his face yet, follows the trail. NOW he puts the mask down. Way to go. You're totally a ninja now.

Chloe in the command center. She's looking at star maps.

We cut to the shot from earlier in the episode where the business man is walking down the hall and Jimmy the Fucking Ninja falls down from the ceiling grate. He goes up behind the guy and stun guns him. It hurts just as much the second time.

Chloe keeps typing. She squints at the big screen.

Jimmy the Ninja. He is getting the briefcase opened again.

Chloe. A map on screen zooms out from Kansas and goes into space. "Found it!" she says.

Jimmy gets out of an elevator, back in his tuxwear. He's back at the party. A woman at the bar smiles at him. Why not just date a hostess, dude? I mean, seriously. Jimmy walks among the pretty people. He doesn't see Chloe. Outside on the balcony, however, Spyder has let her hair down. She's wearing an incredibly flashy red dress with giant fake jewels adorning her Spyder Cleavage. She's holding a martini glass and looks annoyed to be tarted up like this. "Up with a twist?" she asks Jimmy. Yes, let's do that please, ma'am. Jimmy tells her she's drinking alone tonight. He hands over the PDA. Spyder glances at the screen. It contains lots of file folders. "And what the Hell is this?" she asks. This the Hell is some files, lady. Stop being so mean. She tells Jimmy that he retrieved a list of employee health benefits. There's a disproportionate amount of claims for herpes cream in there. Just thought you should know. Jimmy says that's impossible. It's not, Jimmy. Lots of herpes at these kinds of parties. Spyder asks if it was on the 20th floor and involved a retinal scan briefcase. "She's better than I thought," Spyder says. But you're not because you were supposed to be watching Jimmy through his bowtie this whole time. This lady's an idiot. The woman says that the briefcase was the daily mainframe backup. She says Chloe lured Jimmy to the most useless files on the drive. Then why was the guy carrying it in a briefcase that was more secure than the Isis Foundation, the building's control center and Lex's home combined? "Really?" Jimmy says. It's the same expression the president has when you ask him about gas prices. He smiles a little. "You blew it," Spyder says, "I'm taking over. My way." Maybe you should put the martini down first. A government man grabs Jimmy by the arm. Spyder thinks prison time might do Jimmy and Chloe' relationship some good. Jimmy is dragged away. Spyder tries to look all badass as the camera zooms in on her.

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Smallville

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