Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Double-O-Lame-O

Ace of Clubs. It's the fancy party place we saw in the opening. Jimmy and Chloe are overdressed and look like they're going to prom. Jimmy compliments Chloe's beauty. She calls him handsome. Jimmy is surprised Chloe was able to pencil him in. Chloe says she's surprised Jimmy was able to find a tux on such short notice. Awkward silence. This is so not Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Not even close. Chloe's text message chime goes off. She asks Jimmy to get her a drink. Nothing specific. Just a drink. Hey, time to put that Shakira/cosmos plan in place. Jimmy walks to the bar, but watches Chloe as she uses her phone. He watches her text. Jimmy returns with champagne. Chloe lays her phone on top of her open purse, which is lying on a table, totally unsecured. Chloe, Chloe, Chloe. I'm going to have to go to the beach for a minute. In full view, Jimmy slides his own cell phone out of his sleeve and lays it next to Chloe's, where it immediately starts a "Data clone." The screen says in huge letters, "DATA CLONE." Chloe is suddenly struck blind and doesn't notice. From out of nowhere, loud music starts to play. Jimmy takes Chloe's drink and lays it on the table RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE HIS PHONE IS STEALING HER INFORMATION, yes Chloe still doesn't notice, or pretends to be a huge idiot. Jimmy asks for this dance. Chloe is about to say no, but Jimmy grabs her and pulls her into an absolutely stupid Tango. The song is cool, but the dance is just ridiculous. Jimmy dips Chloe and, smiling, she says that maybe he's not so wholesome after all. "I'm just getting started," he tells her. More dancing. Jimmy has his hand on the back of her head, and I have to tell you, it looks a little odd and even dirty. Chloe wraps her leg around Jimmy's. Jimmy swings her around. For trying to not be conspicuous, they're the only ones in the room make big, extravagant dance moves. Why not just do the YMCA dance? Foot sliding. I'm staring hard at my beach photo as should you. Hey, I think I see a windsurfer way in the distance. Jimmy glances over at the two giant cell phone/PDAs on the table. Then he throws Chloe around and they circle each other. Yeah, apparently they took advanced ballroom dance lessons when none of us were watching. More sexy dancing. Turning. Chloe does some flashy moves, shaking her bosom as she circles Jimmy. She tosses around her dress hem. The only reason I can remotely forgive this scene is because it looks like they're having fun, and that's something this show has been sorely lacking for a while. A final dip. Jimmy looks at the cell phones again. Oh man, there's a giant pack of Stride gum next to the purse. Noooooo! Emergency kitty photo! Furry! Jimmy pulls Chloe up from the dip. Another awkward silence. They sit down at their table. Jimmy lies that he forgot to give the valet his keys. Uhhh...that's a pretty horrible lie. How would they have driven your car away? Jimmy reaches behind him and grabs his data clonin' cell phone/PDA. He tries to be all sneaky. Chloe tells him to take as much time as he wants. She glances at him sneakily as he goes. We see Chloe walk off into an elevator. The worst is over, I think.

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Smallville

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