Smallville High! Where great minds burgeon and then are bludgeoned by weekly villains. Outside, the foliage is growing to adulthood, unlike many of the students here. The opening strains of "Everybody Hurts" play. I begin to hold out hope for a good scene. Maybe they'll ape the video style and we'll see subtitles showing what everyone is thinking as the song plays. Maybe Pete will finally tell us what's on his mind. Maybe...WHAT? Lana? Oh, I get it. It's "Everybody Hurts Especially Lana." (2003 Remix.) Lana, in a skimpy pink top, comes up to Clark in the hallway. Now I hurt. Clark starts to apologize for yesterday, but Lana uncharacteristically says it's fine. With a wicked grin, she says she got a good view of Clark when he left. Wait, something's not right here. This Lana -- the one we're seeing right now -- looks like she has a personality and isn't crippled by guilt, shame, and boringness. Lana asks who was screaming. That was me, when I was yelling, "You broke up! You're not supposed to be here! Go away!" Turns out there was also a girl screaming. I should probably write about her, too. Clark says she just disappeared. He apologizes again for leaving Lana. Lana's got on nice makeup, and her hair looks good. Even the pink doesn't bother me so much. Who is this alien? Lana blows it off and says it's not like they had a date or anything. Who is this laidback imposter in pink? Lana says she had fun. Clark bashfully says he did, too. Lana says that their relationship has always been about pain and angst; a little levity is refreshing. That's what I've been sayin'! Dude! Lana walks past Clark a little then turns to tell him that maybe one day he'll stop torturing himself and realize that there's no reason they shouldn't be together. Honest, direct, attractive, prone to skinny-dipping. I expect a Body Snatcher to emerge from this creature. Clark looks like he's been hit by a cold fish. (Or the old version of Lana.) Lana tells him it's all right. She says she's willing to wait as long as he wants. She touches his shoulder and walks off. I just can't get over this. Is this the RealDoll version of Lana? The song, which still doesn't quite fit, sort of skips on itself to pad out the scene. It sounds like your CD player when it's broken.