Smallville
Sneeze

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Mystery Sinus Theater

The Pontius office. Chloe and Clark have broken in. Chloe asks if Clark is all right; he seems pretty dead on his feet. "Perfect," says Clark. It looks like a nice apartment, but it lacks a woman's touch. Chloe says that she was expecting ceiling fans and cigarette butts. Chloe opens a laptop on a desk, because everyone on this show leaves their laptop lying around for anyone to access. Chloe says that she's a decent hacker, but not a miracle worker. "You know, you really don't give me enough credit for this stuff. It's not easy," she adds, talking to writers and producers of the show past. Clark does his x-ray vision and spies something behind a wall. Chloe says that, with the encryption, it's going to take her hours to get to Lex's account. Clark stops her and mentions the hidden door. "Even with a stuffy nose, you've still got it," she replies.

Clark uses his hand and pulls apart the metal wall, but not all the way. He struggles after a bit and says that he's not 100%. Chloe has an idea: "What about a sneeze?" Chloe guesses that Clark could take the wall out with a sneeze. What if he knocks over the whole building? Clark says that he can't force a sneeze on command: "It's a reflex, not a circus trick." "Then blow," says Chloe. Clark says that it's not funny. Blow, my boy! Blow like a $2 whore, Clark! It's the only way! Chloe says that, with Clark's lung capacity, he should just inhale and blow it out as hard as he can. Clark says that it's a steel door, not a birthday cake. Chloe prompts him: "Huff, puff and blow this door down!" Only Chloe could make that line work. Slow-motion CGI of Clark taking in lots of air. Ha. Clark sucks so hard. Then Clark lets out a mighty blow. Is it too late to take it back? I think this is the Gayest Look of the Episode. Such skills! Clark blows the door open and wrecks whatever's inside. A wind comes back on Chloe and Clark. Why does it smell like farm animal? "Good thing you didn't have garlic today," Chloe says, smiling.

Triumphant music. Inside the secret room, hanging lights are swinging. Clark and Chloe instantly find a photo (that hasn't been blown away) of a warehouse. "This is where he thinks Lex is," Clark assumes. The blowing awakened Clark's brain! Chloe says that the taxi's leaving. "Let's roll," she says. Clark says that she's not going anywhere, because he can't guarantee her safety with his current health. They start to argue, but Clark zips out of there before Chloe can convince him.

Warehouse. Busey's lackey is filling up a needle with a vial from a very expensive case, presumably gathered from Level 33. Busey drags Lana into the room, and Lex freaks out, asking what she's doing there. Being a bad-ass rescuer -- what did you think? Lex demands that Busey let Lana go. Sure, why not? Busey says that they need a test subject for the serum. Fun! Busey adds that Lex's girlfriend is as good a "guinea pig" as anyone. Close-up on Lana. She's a squirrel, dammit! Get it right! Close-up of the needle. Busey warns Lana that if she does turn into some superchick (Mulana!), he has a gun pointed at her boyfriend's head. Lex interrupts and says that it won't work on her. The serum was tailored for his blood chemistry. Lana tries to stop him. Busey says that it's time to wake the sleeping dragon. He's about to stab Lex with the needle...

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Smallville

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