Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: F
Mystery Sinus Theater

...when our bald boy lunges forward, headbutting the dude. Lana kicks him, and manages to kick Wussy Guy as well. Lana picks up a gun and points it at them. Busey is bloodied. Without even looking, Lana is able to free Lex from the cuffs around his wrists. When she looks back to finish this, Busey rushes Lana and throws her against a chain-link fence. He points the gun at her neck and yells, "Bitch!" Lex is right there behind him, and stabs Busey in the shoulder with the needle. Busey screams. He fires the gun blindly, creating flames from all the chemicals. A fire erupts. Wussy Guy and Busey escape. Lex and Lana try to escape. Lex tells Lana to look for something to cut through the fence. Lex tries to break the fence with a giant tube. Jamming your giant tube at something doesn't always fix everything, Lex!

Clark is outside the warehouse. He's winded from running. Let's just jog it from here.

Inside. More fire. Lana screams. She notices a hatch above Lex. If there's one thing you'll find where there's chain-link fencing, it's a chain-link fence escape hatch up above. Lana moves equipment to try to get up there. They slide a desk together. Love! The flames drop stuff on them, and it's too late to escape up there. Lex puts his hand on Lana's face and says that it's all his fault. He says he's sorry. Suddenly, there's a fierce wind. It blows out all the flames. Lex thinks, "I know the sound of that blowing! It's so familiar...yet...." Lana and Lex look around. Behind them, Clark sneaks away. More dramatic music.

Commercials. The Butterfly Effect 2. What if they made a bad movie and that created a worldwide rip in the fabric of time/space that created the need for a direct-to-DVD sequel? It's a scary thought.

Cloudy day, Kenty farm. The Barnness of Mopeitude. Clark, in a white t-shirt, is carrying a giant ice chest. Chloe bounds up the stairs, and says that she has something to do in case the lake is too cold to swim in. Chloe presents Clark with a giant bright red kite in the shape of the Superman crest. It's got no decoration or streamers. She presses it against his chest, joking that they won't even have to wait for it to get windy. "Gee thanks?" says Clark. Chloe asks if Clark doesn't wonder what else is possible: "'Clark Kent Airlines: nonstop to Metropolis,'" she jokes.

Lois comes up the stairs, announcing that miracles really do happen. Yeah, wait until you hear this one. She says that man walked on the moon, call waiting was invented, and Lois Lane got her first byline on the front page of The Inquisitor. I'm too tired. I'm not even going to go into the myriad ways that's so wrong. But let's just leave it at this: it's a bad paper, but it's a big paper. A big paper typically has enough resources to turn away all the nutties who show up with crazy stories they want published. But a big paper might be just sleazy enough to want to run a story by a hot young woman it wants working there, and if it publishes trash anyway, it might consider badly written trash that can be cleaned up for publication. But let's just call it what it is: a lame lightswitch plot device that could have been set up a long time ago in a much better way than just springing it on us now. The front page blares, "GLOBAL WARMING OR ALIEN INVASION?" Chloe says she's not sure how she feels about the alien angle. Lois backpedals that she wasn't crazy about that either, but that her editor says it sells papers. "Well, let's hear it for journalistic integrity," Clark snarks. So now they're all three going to be journalists? Wow, this show is really going to suck soon. Lois says she doesn't think she's ever been happier than when she was writing that article. Yeah. It's awesome. "The thrill of discovery, the clacking of keys, the scent of fresh ink," says Lois. Oh God. Just kill us. Please. "I think I've finally found my calling!" Lois concludes. Chloe gives her a weird look. So does Clark. Lois looks annoyed. Chloe asks Lois to come join them on the lake to celebrate. Lois says it looks like rain is coming, and she doesn't like swimming in the rain. In the nude, maybe, but not in the rain. Lois goes down the stairs. Clark and Chloe look out the big barn window. He sucks in a big breath and blows at the sky. The clouds part. Now it's sunny. Lois, downstairs, looks up. "Whoa," she mouths. Upstairs, Chloe says, "It worked!" She puts a hand on Clark's shoulder. They both smile, big-time.

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