Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: F
Mystery Sinus Theater

Lois suddenly busts in with just a quick knock and no hesitation, still with her earbuds on and her clothes amounting to next to nothing. Without pausing, she grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and announces that a barn door fell from the sky and almost crushed her. If only, if only.... She asks how that happens and takes a sip of water. MamaKent and Clark really have no good answers. They're still wondering how they got so close to this psycho lady that she feels comfortable just barging into their house all the time. "Maybe [the door] fell from an airplane," Clark tries. A really white-trashy airplane. Foxworthy Airlines. Lois says that the only thing out there was a severely traumatized sparrow. She sees the cut lemons and honey. "Uh oh, does Clarkie have the sniffles?" she asks, annoyingly. Clark looks at her, pissed. MamaKent says that it's just a little cold. Lois offers her own home remedy: honey and cayenne pepper. She says it'll make Clark sneeze a bunch of times, but that it'll cure him. MamaKent and Clark exchange alarmed looks. MamaKent says she thinks they're out of cayenne. Lois finds it in the spice rack. She prepares to whip up her remedy. But she's distracted by something outside the kitchen window. Her breasts use their ultrasonic dish technology to sense trouble. Lois sees a gaping hole in the barn and asks, "Where did your barn door go?" Lois says that it was there the night before when she dropped off some documents ("documents"?), but now it's gone. "Look at that," Clark says, lying badly, "it is gone." Lois says she knew the barn door looked familiar. She asks again how this could happen. Polarities and global warming? A dangerous thing just happened. Lois's brain started working.

Stately Luthor Manor. A smooth young black man in a suit is waiting for Lex. He is Mr. Pontius. Lex lays into him immediately: "What the hell am I paying you for?" Deep tissue massage? Lex says that he was followed again today. "Black Range Rover? Edge City plates?" Pontius asks. He says that he tracked it to an abandoned factory on 5th and Hayworth. "Then why are you still here?" Lex asks. Geez -- testy, Lex! Pontuis pauses, just to piss Lex off a little more. "I'm on my way," he finally says, and goes. Lex puts a hand on his chest, all, "Whoa there big fella," and tells him that he wants this taken care of, "by any means necessary." Word to your Malcolm X, Lex. Way to connect. "Do you understand?" Lex asks. You're asking a black man if he understands "by any means necessary"? Lex really should have taken some sensitivity training back in boarding school.

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