Smallville
Sneeze

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Mystery Sinus Theater

Just then, Lana walks in, wearing a black dress. She says that she had no idea she was moving into a fortress. Really? The castle motif didn't clue her in? Lana says that there are lots of security guards. In his imagination. Lex puts his hands on her arms and says that the guy who just left isn't a security guard; he's a private investigator. He tells Lana that he's being followed; he suspects that it might be someone in the family, but that he can't be sure. Lana asks if Lex should go to the police. He says that, after breaking every law imaginable as Zod, he doesn't want to go near a badge. He can't trust anyone, including his own security. Ha ha. Lex has security, finally, and he can't even trust them. "You can trust me," Lana says, coming to sit next to Lex on the couch. Why is there a fire going in the fireplace? Is it that cold around here? Lex takes Lana's hand and says, "Of course I can." He wants Lana to have something. A business card? Can't you have it encrusted with diamonds or something? Lex says that it's in case of an emergency. The card reads "PONTIUS" at the top, and then the name "Robert Pontius, Private Investigator" below. Isn't this the guy Lex was just chewing out? "He's the best P.I. in Metropolis," Lex says. Somehow, I doubt that. Lex says that if anything happens to him, Lana needs to call that number, not the police. This guy will make sure Lana is safe. Lana asks Lex not to talk like that. Talk sexier. Do your Christopher Walker impression. Lex says that he's just being cautious. Lana looks sad. It must be Thursday.

Daily Planet. A down-page A1 story has a headline that reads, "Lex Luthor donates millions to rebuild city." That's a hell of an indent on that story, and it's missing a byline. Clark, dressed down in tablecloth red-checkered flannel, walks in as Chloe is standing, reading that story in the paper. "How's this for a megadose of guilt money?" Chloe asks him, handing Clark the paper. Clark says that he has bigger news. "I sneezed," he says seriously. Chloe says, "...And?" Clark says that it's not normal. It's evil! The spirits are in his sinuses! Chloe says that nothing with Clark is very normal, and that she doesn't think it's a big deal. Clark starts to say something, and then pauses. Chloe tries to hand Clark a tissue, but he turns and sneezes. Dust and papers fly everywhere, and one woman's dress flies way up. I was expecting a close-up on that, but somebody showed restraint. That area of the newsroom is in disarray. Chloe looks surprised. "Gesundheit!" she says. Clark tells Chloe that he has a cold. No one in the newsroom comes over to figure out where that blast of snot came from. Nice. ["Eh, it's just a newspaper office -- why would you expect anyone there to be inquisitive?" -- Wing Chun] Chloe grabs Clark and ushers him out of there. Clark says that, this time, he halfway covered his mouth, but earlier he blew the doors off the barn. He says that the door almost hit Lois, and that now she's digging for the truth and won't stop until she hits China. I say we let China have her. Chloe says that she'll handle Lois, but tells Clark to take care of his cold. Chloe wants to prevent "Hurricane Clark." Clark Kent does not care about journalist people. Clark starts to sneeze again, and Chloe dives over some files to protect them. "Just kidding," Clark says and walks out. Ha ha, good one, Clark. You're a regular Buddy Hackett. Chloe rolls her eyes and chuckles.

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Smallville

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