Smallville
Sneeze

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Mystery Sinus Theater

There's a knock at the door. MamaKent opens the door, and Papa Luthor is standing there in his black coat, looking like the bad-ass. He says that Lex is gone: "I think he's been abducted." Didn't that just happen, like, two minutes ago? Even the police wait twenty-four hours to make those kinds of assumptions. Maybe he has surveillance video. Clark asks who's responsible. Papa says that, considering what Lex stole from the Pentagon, he thought it was the government. Why is The Man always trying to keep rich white guys down? WHY!? He strokes his beard-chin and says that his contacts told him that's not the case: "You have to find him, Clark." Yeah, trust the dumb farmboy, not billions of dollars in resources. Clark says that he and Lex have nothing to do with each other anymore. The fluid-exchanging days are long gone. "But you and Zod do," Papa says gravely. Well, Zod's just a slut, then. Papa suspects that Lex may not be totally honest about forgetting everything that happened while he was possessed by Zod. Papa warns that if Lex remembers everything and enough pressure is put on him by his captors, he might spill the beans about Clark's secret. Okay, Clark is convinced.

Metropolis by way of Good Times. Inside some warehouse, Lex is lying on a table, shackled down. He's also got diodes taped to his smooth head. A Jake Busey-looking dude greets Lex with a big, toothy smile: "Well, hello Mr. Invincible!" Lex's chest is exposed. He asks where he is. "In your cage, where every lab rat belongs," the guy tells him. He warns Lex about trying to escape, saying that he's hooked up to enough voltage to down an elephant. "Who are you?" Lex asks. The guy says that he's just someone interested in Lex's superhuman powers. Lex feigns ignorance. The guy tries to jog Lex's memory: he says that Lex was the one in the Pentagon swatting away bullets like they were mosquitoes. They shot on the only working satellite on Dark Thursday. They just want to know how Lex got the powers. Lex says that people are already aware of his abduction. Busey says that Lex's "people" must be that guy who was wandering around outside, who now has a bullet in his head. So much for the greatest private dick in Metropolis. A second dude stands nearby, watching. Lex gulps. Busey pulls a gun and points it at Lex's neck: "Enough foreplay, all right? Let's get this started." Bound Lex? Dangerous music? Diodes? It must be the Gayest Look of the Episode. Lex is all, "Don't hurt me! I'm usually a top!" Lex grunts. "You're going to tell me everything," the guy tells him.

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Smallville

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