Smallville
Solitude

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Win A Car While MamaKent Dies

The Daily Planet. Chloe and Clark are walking through part of the newsroom. They pass a very nice set of clocks in a display case. Chloe is telling Clark that, according to weather reports, there was nothing unusual over Smallville the previous night. Couldn't he have checked that himself online? Clark says that doesn't rule out heat lightning. Heat lightning? What the fuck is "heat lightning"? Oh, it's this. Actually, it couldn't be heat lightning because they did hear a rumble. So, phooey to your bullshit theory, Clark. Clark invalidates himself by saying he heard thunder, then saw a bright light. He tells Chloe about finding MamaKent outside. He thought she might have been struck by lightning. Chloe asks if she's seen a doctor. Clark says they took her in the morning, but nobody could find anything wrong with her. As they continue walking through the maze of the newsroom, Chloe says it may have been fireworks or someone's car backfiring two counties away, given Clark's special abilities. She says there's nothing to worry about. Photocopying something, she says she thinks there's something Clark isn't telling her. Clark says that Jarnelle might have something to do with this. He tells her about the deal Clark made when he died and came back. "He's come back to collect," Clark says ominously as the open photocopier spills light on them both.

The Talon. Lex is being photographed by professionals. There's a light meter and a reflecting light umbrella, even. He's in the background sitting on a stool as a frustrated Lois Lane is messing with the cappuccino machine. Maybe you should show them your breasts, Lois. She grouses to Lex that, after eight hundred pictures, he still doesn't get any prettier. How about after thirty years, Lois? Lex politely tells his crew that it's time to wrap up, thinking, "Oh, bitch, no you di'in't!" Lex asks Lois for a latte. Lois sighs. She asks if Lex doesn't think it's a little sleazy to hold a campaign photo shoot where MamaKent works. She says he might as well go to the Kents' farm and milk their cows. Why travel for the milk when you can get the obnoxious mooing cow to serve you here? Lex, wearing a smart suit, reminds Lois that he owns The Talon. Want a paycheck, Lois? "What don't you own?" Lois asks snidely. "I guess now you want to own the government." Yeah, Lex isn't as bad-ass adult as you with a job and new car. Lex asks why Lois is so angry and what he ever did to her. Besides bailing her sister out of trouble, that is. Lois says that Lex just reminds her of pseudo-politicians she grew up around who bought their way into office. She asks if Lex thinks he can beat Bo Duke. Jeez, with such deep pockets? I wonder. Lois says that there must be enough dirt on Lex to create a landmass the size of Texas. It is pretty big down here, I can tell you. Lex advises Lois to grab a shovel and start digging. Yes, let the great whining begin! Lex says he has nothing to hide. Lex turns to go, but Lois can't resist offering him the advice of dropping out of the race before "a pesky little squirrel digs up one of [his] rotten little acorns." She's going to sic Lana on him! Lex strides back and tells Lois there's nothing more valuable than savvy political advice from "a muffin-peddling college dropout." Holy shit! That's awesome! Lex, Lex, Lex! Rah rah rah! Smack! Lois shuts up, finally. I want to do a cartwheel. "Speaking of which, do you have banana blueberry today?" Lex asks smoothly. Who says he's not still The Sexy? I wonder if he ever got that latte.

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Smallville

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